Things got tense when my fiancée and I started planning the wedding and the topic of gold came up. Our families have slightly different expectations about this. She says, ‘It’s the woman’s right, we’ll give the gold to your family,’ while my family expects all of it to be shared. I’m really stuck in the middle; both sides are important, actually. How can we resolve this?
So the same thing happened at our wedding, actually. My mom said, ‘The gold is your individual security, we won’t hand it over to anyone.’ My wife didn’t understand it at first, but then she accepted it like this. I think you should establish something together with your spouse from the beginning to avoid tension between families.
I was wondering, why does your fiancé especially want to hand it over to your family? I think he has a point to some extent, but wouldn’t it be easier for you two to sit down and make a clear decision about this? 
I think the most sensible solution is to open a joint account and deposit the money there after the wedding. This way, there won’t be any conflict on either your side or your families’. You can start with peace instead of starting with a quarter gold.
What kind of logic is this? Just because it’s “a woman’s right” does it have to go to your family? Marriage is a shared thing. Those gold items are a gift for both of you; it wouldn’t be fair for only one side to use them.
Currently, gifts are legally considered personal property here, that is, those gold items are accepted as yours. However, the involvement of families complicates things. The best approach is to calmly discuss with your fiancé and reach a joint decision. Otherwise, it will be difficult to resolve with external interventions.
I wanted to write back because I said some things to my fiancé yesterday. To be honest, he doesn’t seem very certain either; his family has been putting some pressure on him. I liked the idea of a joint account, but it seems like it won’t be easy to explain to our families.
Aren’t you making a big deal out of this gold situation? After all, gold is just material, a happy marriage goes beyond that. What’s all this fuss and fighting about!
‘It’s a woman’s right, we’ll hand her over to your family,’ you said, so it seems like a bit of a prejudged approach. Now whatever you say is empty, bro! Families are involved!