Before the wedding, my spouse had bought gold with their own money, saying specifically that it was their money. Now, during an argument, they said, ‘I bought that gold too,’ so I’m not sure if they want it back! Do you think this is normal or what should I do about this?
I think things that were not clearly discussed with your spouse are now coming to light. It’s strange that they emphasize, ‘I bought it with my own money’ before the wedding. Normally, there shouldn’t be a you-and-me conflict in marriage, but apparently, there’s a distinction in their mind.
There’s something strange here. I mean, they’ve directly linked the discussion to those golds in some way. It’s not just saying ‘I had it,’ but we need to see why they bring this up in the discussion. Maybe there’s something else they’re building up inside.
I think you should speak openly, ask, ‘Why did you say that, do you want it back?’ There’s no point in ruminating on this issue without getting a direct answer. However, if they actually say they want it back, then that means you have a serious financial sharing problem.
Let me update you, actually he didn’t directly say ‘give back that gold,’ but he said it suddenly during the discussion, which makes me suspicious. He never brought up such issues before.
But this behavior is a serious indicator of control. You accepted those golds trusting that you are his wife, right? Marriage is not an economic power game formed by individuals; it’s a shared order. It’s not nice at all for him to express it in such a way.
When financial matters in marriage are not clearly defined, such issues can arise. Particularly, bringing up past financial situations during arguments indicates a lack of communication between the couple. In such cases, consulting family counselors and learning ways to communicate openly and healthily can be beneficial.