While preparing for the wedding, I found out that my spouse has reconnected with their ex. Seeing them chatting on Instagram made my heart sink. The wedding date is quite close, should I be extremely jealous in this situation or is it best not to think about it? We haven't experienced something like this before.
There was a time during wedding preparations when something like this happened to us too. It wasn't an ex, but he was constantly texting someone else. Once trust is gone, it's really hard to get it back.
What was the content of the messages? Were they very personal or flirty things? 🫠
@kahvebitmeden it's not exactly flirting, but more like reminiscing about the good old days. From what I've read, they haven't completely cut ties either.
@biseydiycem if trust is gone, I don't understand why a wedding is still happening. I think these are big alarms; it needs to be taken seriously 🤷♀️
In such situations, back up conversations and make a clear statement. If the trust issue is not resolved before the wedding, it could be a big problem for the future. Support from a marriage counselor can be sought.
@hatconene it's ridiculous to make a judgment that quickly. Maybe the guy just wanted to close something, we shouldn't always think the worst.
I would postpone the wedding. After all, no one dies.
you need to talk about this openly. it's important to leave the past in the past and directly define your current relationship. you can't have trust without it 🤷♀️
Is reminiscing about the old days done on the wedding day? I don’t understand why they dedicate such a special day to something like this. The timing doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me.
No one texts "let's call it off" on the wedding day. A cancellation happens months in advance, the deal is already done. It’s as if the guy has suddenly changed his mind about the wedding at the last minute. These things aren’t quiet or random. Are you going to live your life with this kind of confusion after this wedding?
Could they have done this knowing they would be caught while sending this message? I mean, taking such a risk on a date like the wedding day is odd. Either they really wanted to be noticed, or there's a serious level of carelessness. Both are thought-provoking 😬
Maybe there's still some unresolved issues in their old relationship. But the solution wasn't on the wedding day; it was much earlier. Either they are truly confused and delaying things, or they are completely underestimating you. Both scenarios require you to consider whether there is a solid reason to continue this relationship.
This may not have anything to do with the past relationship; I think he might be trying to escape the weight of the wedding. Could he be attempting something like a "last taste of freedom"? Some men freak out like this and don't look for logic.
If a moment like the wedding day compresses this, then the old relationship is not closed; perhaps it has never even been opened. The question is: what was the content of this message? Is it trying to sever ties with the past, or does it continue to build a connection? There is a world of difference between the two.
In such a critical moment, if they are writing about an old relationship, the real issue is not what they are doing, but what you want to do in this situation. In other words, whether or not to tolerate such behavior is entirely up to your boundaries. As much as the content of the message, what you will feel in this situation and how you will respond is also important. So, was this topic discussed after the wedding? Listening to their explanations can provide clues more than the event itself.
