Recently, my spouse has started coming home late every day, saying there's "overtime." This never used to happen; now they always seem tired and distant. Honestly, I'm feeling uneasy about it. Do you think this is normal? Or could they be cheating on me? Or am I overreacting?
I think you should definitely have a talk. Ask detailed questions about the hours they refer to as 'overtime.' Like which project they are working on and who they are collaborating with. If they can't provide clear answers, you can verify the situation with someone at their workplace. You don't need to follow up directly, but without getting concrete information, you'll just keep eating yourself up.
Now everyone is piling on the guy, but maybe he really is working? After all, you're saying it wasn't like this before, so something has changed. Maybe it's really just the workload. Not every late arrival means being unfaithful; you also need to trust your partner a bit.
In marriages, these situations usually stem from a lack of communication. If there's a problem, it's better to address it in a non-accusatory, clear, and calm manner. You can start with something like, "You've been very tired lately, and I'm worried about you." This way, they won't go on the defensive and will share what's really going on. Direct accusations or questioning can backfire.
I want to add this: I asked someone I know at work, and it's true that there are overtime hours, but not every day. That's why I'm really confused. By the time I get home or on the weekends, I'm very tired too. It's like we're not talking anymore.
Then it's time to speak openly. That means express yourself, share your feelings. Try to stay calm while doing this. Ask, 'I heard work is being done but not consistently, why is that?' If they are still giving evasive answers, there may be other reasons you need to discuss. If it's not work fatigue, it could be another source of stress.
