My spouse wants to take out a loan but I don't trust them

My spouse has been saying recently that we're in a tight financial situation and is talking about taking out a loan. But honestly, I'm not sure at all how that money would be managed after getting the loan. In a similar situation before, they spent without planning, and we struggled to recover. If I were to object, it feels like they would blame me by saying that all the burden of the house is on them. How do you think I should convince them in this situation, or should I just accept it?

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8 Yanıt

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icimdengecmis

I've experienced something similar, honestly. My spouse suggested taking out a loan to pay off debts, and I agreed. But then we couldn't figure out how that money just vanished. Buy shoes, lend them to a friend, and so on... In the end, I took the credit card away from them, and I started to take control. We had a bit of a fight, but now we're more at ease. I think you should never say yes without thinking, first sit down and talk it over in detail.

0 #2
fazlakurcalama

Financial matters are truly sensitive. The main issue here is determining exactly what this loan will be used for. First, try to create a budget with your spouse. Signing without clarifying where the loan will go is risky. If they are making spending decisions on their own, this could lead to bigger problems later. My advice is to plan by consulting a financial advisor or a professional at the bank.

0 #3
kirmizikazak

But if she is carrying all the load, then a bit of this is how it should be. What are you doing for example? Is there equal contribution to the household chores? "As my wife, you should support me," she said, which seems like a somewhat reasonable request. You shouldn't expect her to do everything.

0 #4
benbisorayim

There's another job for me here, you know. I mean, you mentioned that your spouse spent money without planning beforehand; have you ever thought about where that money went? Did they give it to a friend or spend it somewhere else? Maybe you're automatically suspicious because of a previous incident, but it seems to me that there could be a different interest at play right now.

0 #5
kahvebitmeden

I actually agree with a few people. The loan was for our son's school expenses, he clarified that, but still, his inability to manage money scares me. He had lent money to a friend before, which is why I'm still hesitant. Also, I'm working too, so I'm definitely contributing to the expenses.

0 #6
cokdaseyapma

You are actually right, but let me ask you something... For instance, when you take a loan, should you manage the money directly? If you are the one keeping track of the budget, that amount shouldn't even come to your hands. This way, your spouse would feel more at ease, and there would be no issues. I saw something like this with a friend of mine, where their partner was giving them their salary directly.

0 #7
aklimkaldi

I'm not exactly sure, but I've heard that you can't take out another loan until you've paid off the existing one. If that's true, at least it prevents piling up debt constantly. Or am I mistaken? 🤷‍♀️

0 #8
pazardandondum

But you're just not getting this: the guy is already working and saying 'we're in a tough situation.' What money could he possibly have mismanaged? I mean, no one wants their money to go to waste, and you guys have contributed too. I think you're blowing this out of proportion.

0 #9