My spouse made a joke by describing a private matter

My spouse was at our place with friends the other day, and in the middle of the conversation, they turned to me and said, "They did something like this as a joke," revealing a very personal topic that should have stayed between us. Everyone laughed, and I was left speechless. Now I'm thinking, maybe they share our personal matters with others all the time. Do you think that's normal? I might be overthinking it, but it really upset me.

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kurukahve

I think this is a serious violation of boundaries. Even as a joke, sharing someone's private matters is not right. Be straightforward with them about how much this has bothered you; they should know.

0 #2
koltuktakalan

We can't say for sure that they always explain it, but if they've explained it once, you might think, why not explain other things too? If it bothers you, I think it's necessary to set a boundary.

0 #3
sessizmod

I had the same thing happen to me, but with my ex. He was having a lot of fun in a group setting, then he talked about something that was between us. I didn’t say anything at that moment, but later I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Try talking about it, but if it started once, who knows what else there might be.

0 #4
saridefter

Was this the first time this happened, or has it happened to you before? If they're constantly talking about something, that's more concerning; it's something to be aware of. 🫠

0 #5
aklimkaldi

@makarnaoncesi this isn't actually the first time. There have been a few instances like this before, but none were as special as this. That's why I freaked out this time.

0 #6
baskahesap

@camkenari don't be so blunt. There could be a dynamic between the two, maybe they are talking because he trusts his partner. Not everything has to mean boundary violation 🙄

0 #7
camkenari

In my family, this kind of stuff would totally be a big deal. There's this rule like, "don't talk about anything personal." If he does it again and the older siblings hear about it, they'll totally freak out.

0 #8
netdegil

They brushed it off as a joke, but I think it was also wrong for you to stay silent. If you had said something directly there, it would have been resolved faster. Some people think, 'they don't mind anyway' as long as you don't speak up 😂

0 #9