My girlfriend talked about her ex-boyfriend, and I was so uncomfortable that I felt bad. Is it normal for her to talk so much about him? What should I do, should I tell her this?
Why is he still living with the old one? I would be suspicious.
What is it talking about, is it constantly comparing or are there occasional comments?
@yazipsildim says it’s not a comparison but that he was a good person or something, going on and on.
it had happened to me too, I swallowed it to avoid separation but it ended badly.
@biseydiycem if you swallow, it just keeps going, you have to say it.
if these conversations are frequent and detailed, you might not have broken emotional ties. clearly say that you feel uncomfortable.
this isn’t normal. to start a new relationship, you need to close the old one.
How long is he talking? I mean, is it a serious conversation or just a couple of sentences that come to mind? Because if it’s detailed, there might be something unfinished; if it’s superficial, he might just be talking out of habit.
I think the tone of what you’re saying is important. For example, when you say “he was a good person,” is it said sadly or in a straightforward conversational manner? If it’s entirely filled with emotion, he might be confused.
If the details of the old relationship are being discussed, they may still be trying to figure things out in their mind. So it’s unclear whether they are talking to you or to themselves. It sounds like a question, but they might actually be having a monologue.
I think if someone praises the past a lot, they might be looking for reassurance, like saying, “Look how great it was, I can appreciate it too.” But how much can someone who constantly talks about the past focus on the present? In other words, you need to clearly see where they place your relationship.
I think when he talks about his ex, he might be reacting and testing your boundaries. Does he want to go back to her, or has he completely closed that chapter? It’s important to note where he stops while telling the story. For example, is there something here that suggests he wants to make you jealous?
Does he ever apologize? I mean, does he express in some way that he thinks he might be bothering you while explaining? Because continuing as if this isn’t the case is very different.