I recently noticed that my girlfriend has started talking to her ex again. I caught her in the WhatsApp messages, but this issue is really bothering me. I don’t know what to do; honestly, my trust has been shaken. How do you think I should handle this situation?
I had a similar situation; he was occasionally talking to his ex-girlfriend. He would say, "It's nothing, we're just texting as friends," but then the tone between them bothered me. I brought it up directly and didn't drop the subject until I found out what was going on.
Have you seen your ex's messages just once, or are they constantly talking? Have you looked at the messaging details?
@yazipsildim I've come across it a few times at different times, they usually talk about old memories and stuff, but this situation feels weird to me. The more carefully I delete the messages, the more suspicious I became 🫠
I think it's wrong to pressure @kahvebitmeden this much. There's no need to make a big deal just because they're talking to their ex. If you're destroying the sense of trust from the start, why should we continue that relationship?
From a psychological perspective, friendship with an ex can sometimes stem from unresolved issues. Simply telling them 'don't worry, everything's fine' isn't enough. Your partner should address this kind of sensitivity more carefully to build trust in your relationship. If there's doubt, discuss it openly.
I think this is a problem 🙂
Why is the conversation about old memories still going on? If it's closed, then it's closed. Let's not even bring up the past; there must be something left in someone's heart then... Have you ever thought about discussing it from this perspective?
When someone talks about old memories and deletes messages, it's hard to believe there's something innocent about it. If you were to ask, "Why are you deleting them?" what kind of answer would you get? Just ask clearly, don't overthink and drive yourself crazy 😂
Leaving aside whether they talk about old memories or not, the real issue is that you can only know as much as what they tell you because they deleted it. You won't understand unless you ask, but how will you know they're being honest when you do ask? You need to resolve this with trust, not in messages.
If it has reached you by that time, the part saying "the only thing you will know is what he told" is already collapsed. Clarify in your mind what he could be hiding and why. To move on to the issue of trust, you first need to resolve this motivation for hiding.
Have you ever thought about why he/she noticed the messages he/she deleted and why he/she paid attention to it? Maybe he/she started hiding it well after sensing that you were acting suspiciously. He/she might be questioning you right now; could the trust be broken on both sides?
