Is it normal to talk to an ex just to avoid being alone?

Surveys & I Am Indecisive
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1

I’ve been feeling really lonely lately and my ex wrote to me. We didn’t break up over a major event, but I have no intention of trying again. Still, talking to him eases my loneliness. Do you think it’s right to reply to him just for that reason? Or am I just doing harm to both him and myself?

8 Answers

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2

I also started talking to my ex out of loneliness for a while. I had developed a feeling that there was hope for us, but it turns out I wasn’t even aware of it. That period ended very badly. I hope it doesn’t happen to you, but I would advise you to be careful.

3

I’ve felt that too, loneliness really swallows you up. But I’ve noticed that instead of going back, when I opened up more to my friends, the feeling of loneliness decreased quite a bit. Have you tried it? :grimacing:

4

The most devastating thing for me was this emptiness I felt when I woke up in the morning. When you talk again, you feel good for a moment, but it’s like a double dose of loneliness hits you afterward. Does this happen to you too? :grimacing:

5

So why don’t you tell your ex clearly, “I feel lonely, I just want to talk”? It seems like you’re putting her in a state of uncertainty too. Maybe she’s still expecting something from you :flushed_face:

6

"Hold on a second, I don’t think your ex could have written that ‘plainly.’ Maybe they just don’t want to talk to you, they might have other plans. Exes are often not straightforward. What might they write, for example?

7

Let me update you: As you said, it seems like they were a bit hopeful. But they did send me a ‘hello’ message at first, and when I replied, they became very clingy. You’re right, I might have created uncertainty by not asking.

8

Such situations harm both sides greatly because the boundaries are unclear. You might want to alleviate your loneliness; that’s natural. But think carefully about whether you’ve invested in the other person’s feelings. People are not toys.

9

I was talking about the same thing with my friend the other day. I think you should be more active on social media, share stories and stuff, it reduces the feeling of loneliness with the reactions you get. Wouldn’t it be better to shift towards fun things instead of going back to the old ways?