My new roommate seriously doesn't understand cleanliness; everything is left to me. They've even forgotten to take out the trash. I thought, 'I'll remind them, they'll take care of it,' but I'm constantly picking up after them. Sometimes I notice I'm talking to them like their mother. Am I being unfair to them, or am I overstepping my bounds? What do you think I should do?
'He told me exactly this: I forgot to take out the trash, but it's no big deal.' No, it IS a big deal! Is there such a thing as forgetting in household chores? I lived with a friend like that too; I would find socks under every couch. In the end, I said it outright, you should just speak directly, I think.
Actually, things like this are very common, especially when you’ve just moved in. I think you’re feeling more like the mother of the house than a mother like hers right now. So make sure to set clear boundaries. You need to learn to say, 'This is not my job.'
But let me ask this, maybe you're focusing too much? If you left it a little loose, wouldn't they notice their own mistake when they repeat it? They might be getting used to it because you keep reminding them and cleaning up after them.
This might be a bit psychological. If you're used to regular behaviors at home as a family, clutter might affect you more. But their habits are different too. If you clarify and talk about the division of cleaning tasks, communication will be healthier. If you're constantly reminding them, you might get exhausted.
Let me add that I didn't realize at first that he was such a messy person. I thought he would "get organized" since he had just moved in. So my expectations might have been too high.
What kind of logic is this? They haven't taken out the trash and haven't cleaned either, yet they're still tearing it up with the excuse of 'forgetting.' So it wasn't your 'high expectations,' was it? This is straight-up a lack of responsibility. Let's not have this happen again!
