When my roommate started missing rent, the atmosphere in the apartment turned icy

I went through the same thing because of a roommate. At first, I thought I'd lend them some money, but then I saw that they were always eating out, shopping, and so on. I spoke frankly and asked them to either pay regularly or move out. In the end, they got their act together. I think you should definitely have a talk; otherwise, they will just keep using you.

Honestly, this situation is very common. Most people get stressed about money matters with their roommates anyway. But in your case, if they're spending for fun, you definitely need to set some boundaries. Especially if the burden is falling on you, the sharing should be clear.

In such cases, having a written rental agreement can be advantageous. Because if there is a situation that contradicts the agreement, you have legal recourse. However, if there is no agreement, you can suggest discussing the matter properly and creating a payment plan. It might be a good idea to seek professional support on this matter in the future.

I partially disagree with you. Actually, his discretionary spending doesn't concern you. Maybe he has really gotten into a tough situation this month and might have spent to relieve himself. Instead of judging directly, I would suggest showing some understanding first.

Thank you for the suggestions. I should add this: We actually made a so-called payment plan in the beginning, but it keeps getting postponed. This time it feels like they might not be able to manage it at all. Their spending catches my attention since I see them constantly ordering food on the phone, etc. Should I talk more directly?

I think you should say it clearly. We are staying in the dorm, someone is constantly spending like this, but if they aren’t making payments, everyone gets uncomfortable. If it's a burden for you, why stay quiet? Just share it directly, or they should leave, it's that simple.

Honey, this is how it starts and becomes