Sharing a house is already tough, but my roommate is in a different league. The kitchen and bathroom are a mess. They apologize when we say something, but the next day they’re posting coffee stories on social media. People think they are such a sweet person, but I've been cleaning the dishes for a month. What should I do to resolve this situation, would confronting them directly help?
I swear I went through the same situation. My roommate would even lie to her followers saying "I'm cleaning" when she posted stories. At first, I confronted her, but it didn't work. In the end, I said, "Let's share the chores, or it won't work out." We made a list, and it helped a bit since it was written down.
Speak directly. But it could be more effective like this: Make a weekly schedule where you divide the cleaning tasks. For example, "Tuesday bathroom, Friday kitchen." Consider it when they don’t comply, so they can’t deny it. It has the effect of a small contract within the household.
Yeah, actually, these things have become quite common now. Social media is a place where we show our best side, and I think that's why it looks so good in stories. But cleaning habits don’t get solved without facing them; they understand through action, not just words.
Not only is it a problem that you don't clean up in this regard, but the fact that that burden falls on you is the real issue. It has become a habit for you to tidy up their mess. This also creates a psychological burden. That's why you need to clearly define your boundaries; if it happens again, suggest a solution.
Let me clarify a bit. Actually, we told him several times, 'let's solve it together,' 'please support us.' But he's making excuses. Most recently, he said, 'I'll fix it,' but he posted a story with a French press this morning, and there were still dirty dishes in the kitchen. Despite our conversation, nothing has changed.
So let me ask something: Are the other people at home in the same situation? I mean, is there anyone else complaining besides you? If there are multiple people, confronting it together might carry more weight because it doesn't seem like an individual issue.
So have you ever thought about this? Maybe you could have normalized this behavior a bit. At first, why didn't you take a firmer stance when picking up the dishes? People know how far they can push each other's boundaries, and they test it.
There is indeed a serious difference between social media and the perception of reality. But the issue is communication. Phrases like "how can we resolve cleanliness by mutual agreement" could be helpful without blaming anyone. However, if you notice that such things are recurring, suggesting the hiring of an external home organizing service might also be beneficial.
I had a similar roommate. They would post stories, and it was total chaos. We couldn't resolve it face to face. We found a solution by talking in writing over WhatsApp. Everyone wrote down their thoughts, and I informed them with the evidence of "you're not doing it." They felt a bit ashamed, made some progress, but were still passive.
