My fiancée and I got into a serious argument while discussing our wedding budget. She wants something simpler and more affordable, while I think it should be a bit more extravagant since we only get married once. The families also got involved, and everyone is saying something different. How do you think we can find a middle ground on such an important issue, or can we?
We went through the same situation when we were engaged. She wanted a boutique wedding, and I was saying, ‘We’ve waited so long, let’s make it something beautiful.’ When we couldn’t figure it out, for example, we made a needs list; we cut back on some things and spent on what we considered important. In short, you can meet in the middle, but everyone needs to take a step.
I think you should clearly define your wedding budget and make two lists: must-have needs and extras. For example, I didn’t spend a lot on extravagant decorations, but we didn’t cut back on the photographer because that was important. Likewise, both sides should make some sacrifices.
What I want to say is this: no matter what anyone says, in the end, that debt falls on you. If you do what everyone says just to be flashy, you’ll end up regretting it. I’m not saying you should make it ordinary just because the guy says budget, but make sure it’s something reasonable, because true happiness is between you two.
To be honest, marriage starts with a ceremony. People will see you and those who love you. If you do it simply, people will talk, and if you do it extravagantly, they’ll say ‘he eats in front of you and not behind your back.’ But no matter what anyone says, a ceremony should be held according to traditions. Just don’t go overboard and get into debt.
Here’s what happened: My fiancée said, “If we go into debt, we’ll regret it.” She might be right, but honestly, it seems to me that I wouldn’t be happy at a wedding where we can barely fill the hall with a few people. Because we will remember this moment for a lifetime, shouldn’t it be more special?
It needs to be said clearly: Wedding planning is generally seen as a dream of women, but the budget and responsibilities should be considered jointly. Right now, the main issue is not the desires, but the power balance. If you don’t make decisions together, conflicts will arise early in the marriage. Both parties need to find balance.
Decisions that bring financial burdens, like weddings, actually measure harmony in the relationship. According to research, couples who make joint plans on financial matters and find a middle ground tend to have stronger relationships in the long run. A budget plan should be made that evaluates needs and wants together.
It seems like there is a small hidden issue here. Is your fiancée’s simple request solely due to the budget, or is there some tension between the families? Because generally, in such disputes, either one side’s family takes control, or unspoken expectations between the engaged couples come to light.
Now look, most men see weddings as a burden, they don’t really magnify it in their minds. We think, ‘we got married, that’s enough.’ His desire for simplicity is probably due to budget concerns, so it doesn’t get difficult afterwards. Try to understand him a bit, but I think he should make some effort too.