I've been married for 10 years, and to be honest, I don't know how I feel anymore. The days are the same, the conversations are the same, we don't do anything special. We can't feel like lovers; we're practically just friends. But the thought of divorce doesn't even cross my mind. Do you think this is normal? Does every marriage end up this way? Or should something change?
I experienced the same thing; at one point, I started to feel completely like friends. It felt like life was going to be stagnant like this. Then, my spouse and I started talking about our old memories, how we met, what we’ve been through. That helped a lot, and we also planned small getaways from time to time. So, there’s no need to do something huge, but it’s essential to add some movement.
Routine is actually a natural process in long-term relationships. However, it's important to question whether feelings like love and attachment are present. If this sense of friendship is causing you discomfort, you can openly talk to your partner and share your feelings. Also, trying out new activities together can help strengthen your bond. But if there is an overwhelming sense of burnout, it might be good to see a family therapist.
I think there might be more than just a habit at play here. I mean, can everything really be stagnant for 10 years? You say you're not doing anything special, but why isn't your spouse doing anything either? Or are they just taking it easy, saying they're in the same situation? Think about it, maybe it’s necessary to have a talk and really find out how they feel.
I also want to add that my spouse is actually quite understanding, but they're a bit too relaxed about such things. They don't really make a special effort. If I say let's talk, they agree, but they won't take the initiative on their own. They also work a lot, so maybe they don't have the energy for it. Still, I feel sad that we're just going along like this.
But don’t you also need to make some moves here? Why do you always expect your partner to put in the effort? After all, a relationship involves two people. But of course, work hours and such shouldn’t be an excuse; even a 10-minute walk should be tried. A routine can protect you on one hand but can also suffocate you on the other; the decision is yours now.
