Is my partner's constant disappearing normal, in your opinion?

Surveys & I Am Indecisive
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1

I’ve been talking to someone for a few months, but they keep disappearing on and off. I mean, one day they’ll text me constantly, and then they won’t write for three days. When I ask about it, they come up with excuses like they’re busy with work. But I don’t know, should I play it honestly, or should I act like them? What would you do?

9 Answers

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2

I think he’s definitely trying to get out of something. I mean, he mentioned being busy, which is a strange excuse. Is there someone else involved, maybe? It’s kind of a typical escape plan, but of course, I can’t say for sure :roll_eyes:

3

I went through the same thing, girl. Mine was like that for a while, it would disappear saying, “I’m working hard.” Turns out there was another option… I suggest you talk about it, because these things become a burden later :roll_eyes:

4

The net solution: you will ask. Make it clear that you respect their density but that it bothers you to be left in the dark. Watch their reaction; if they’re sincere, they will recover. Otherwise, understand that they will not put in the effort.

5

So it says three days, is it always like this? I mean, does it happen in the first months you meet as well? And what kind of busyness is it talking about? Is it work or other responsibilities? I think it needs to be clarified.

6

You know, there’s that situation where you could go days without writing, and it really sucks when you look at your phone and think, ‘Why didn’t they write me now?’ I totally get you. But I think if a person is honest, they would drop a message now and then :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth:

7

I swear, the issue of intensity might be real, but most men tend to avoid speaking clearly. Especially if their interest has faded, they might try to gradually cut off communication. Assess their interest; are they still excited?

8

Sweetheart, I sense that he might be playing with your feelings when I look at this. He might be busy and all, but when someone loves you, they adjust their work and life for you. If he doesn’t appreciate you, don’t let it slide too easily :grimacing:

9

So here’s the thing, it actually seems like there’s a situation of density. He spends time with his friends in between, I’ve seen that too. But I can’t be completely sure of his intentions, I’m still undecided.

10

In such ambiguous communication, the other person’s attachment style may play a role. Someone with an avoidant or anxious attachment style might use intensity as an excuse. However, it is essential for you to express your discomfort clearly. If there is no improvement, seeking expert help to analyze the relationship or your own expectations could be an option.