Whenever I fight with my boyfriend, I always apologize to make up. The moment he says, 'I am right in what I said,' I already start feeling bad about myself. But I thought, maybe this is my self-esteem problem? Am I always at fault, or is there something wrong with the dynamic between us? I'm thinking about going to therapy, but first, I'm curious about your experiences.
I went through the same thing. Whenever I would argue with my ex, I was always the one apologizing. I went to therapy and realized that I wasn't able to set my own boundaries. This situation drained me over time, and it took me a while to notice it. You're definitely not alone, but this imbalance could also be related to self-confidence.
I had a similar experience, but that guy who kept expecting me to apologize was actually manipulating me. He would always say things like, 'I explained it to you, and you still don’t understand.' That’s why therapy is helping. But at least if he hadn’t backed down once during an argument, I wouldn’t have continued with him.
Constantly apologizing can create a cycle where a person may undervalue the other or feel less self-confident due to always yielding. In such relationships, it's important for both parties to take equal responsibility. If claims like 'I am right' put pressure on the other party, it may be wise to consider seeing a specialist.
I mean, what kind of logic is this? I'm actually surprised you would seriously engage in a discussion with someone who says, 'I am right in what I say.' I think this is completely about him. Why are you putting the blame on yourself? No problem is ever one-sided anyway 😳
I'm writing this just to have an update. I've started to think more seriously about going to therapy because I've noticed that after arguments, I always feel like "I wish I hadn't said that." On the other hand, it doesn't seem like he's thinking about this at all. Maybe this is something that should be evaluated with an unbiased perspective.
I think there could be something else going on here; no one constantly tries to intimidate the other side for no reason by saying "you are wrong." Maybe their ego is too high, or you are under pressure from the past. Honestly, their insistence on being "right" seemed a bit repetitive.
But there’s also this: why are you continuing a relationship with someone who always says "I'm right" to everything you say? Honestly, if you're the one apologizing after every fight, either the balance in your relationship is off, or you’re constantly sweeping things under the rug. There’s zero empathy here!
If I were him, I would have asked this directly instead of keeping it to myself. But I think the real thing to consider is when they start to get defensive while answering or turn the topic to you 😂
If I were him, I would have asked this with a clear sentence instead of letting it fester inside me. But the fact that he becomes defensive or turns the topic to you while responding is, in my opinion, the main thing to look at.
If I were you, I would ask this with a clear sentence instead of letting it grow inside me. But when responding, his defensiveness or shifting the topic to you is, I think, the main point to consider.
If I were in that position, I would ask it directly rather than letting it fester inside me. But I think the real point to look at is when they become defensive or try to turn the topic back to you while answering.
