I'm experiencing doubts just as the relationship has started, is that natural?

I don't think it's normal.

I felt the same things in my time too. I had a hard time starting because of trust issues, but then I opened up. It depends a bit on the other person.

So, is this hesitation partly due to that? Has he ever given you any trust?

@yazipsildim it's not about distrust, actually, but it feels like there's a deficiency in the current relationship. I can't quite describe it 🫠

@aklimkaldi then name what you're missing, I think. Starting something with someone and feeling uneasy is definitely not healthy 😅

Traumas from the past and confusion can lead to such indecisiveness. But if inner unrest persists, it may be necessary to seek support. I wish you could explore the reasons behind your emotions a bit more.

Take a moment to look at yourself and him; if you're still in doubt, I think you shouldn't continue. If there's an energy disruption, it won't get better.

Try to get to know him better before making a definite decision. Maybe there are things you misunderstood.

It's natural to hesitate, but you need to find the reason. Is the deficiency you're talking about related to your expectations or their behaviors? It would be hasty to decide without clarifying that 🫢

The feeling of incompleteness can sometimes stem from starting a relationship at the wrong time. Were you both really ready? Sometimes, things entered into in haste can create problems before they've even settled.

Feeling inadequate can sometimes be due to differences in habit, not just incompatibility. Do you feel relaxed when you spend time with them, or is there a role involved? Check it out.

Maybe what you call a deficiency is the existence of an "ideal" in your mind about relationships, which doesn't match with reality? Are your expectations too high, or do you feel justified in what you think? That's something to differentiate. Because a sense of deficiency doesn’t always mean there's a big problem.

I think the question "why now?" is just as important as the part about lack or hesitation. You were really excited before starting the relationship, let's say yes, but why do you feel differently now? Is there something not coming from them, or do you have a withdrawal yourself? These need to be distinguished.

It's a bit pointless to ask, "Is hesitation natural?" without fully understanding what is lacking. Is the problem a lack of something, or is it hesitation? You might be mixing the two up. Clarify one.

Is it hesitation or a lack? Generalizing as "natural" without distinguishing seems a bit like an escape. Maybe this thing you're calling "lack" is not incompatibility but rather indifference? Two different things. Look for passion on the other side, I think.

Sometimes hesitation is not a feeling, but an intuition. To understand whether what you call a deficiency is temporary or a fundamental incompatibility, try to put some distance between you. How will you feel from afar is important.

When you say "lack," is there something concrete or is it just a general feeling? It's hard to find a solution without making this distinction. If you mean feeling, then give it a bit more time; if you mean something concrete, holding onto it without opening up to the other party will only make the issue bigger. Question both ends.

Maybe the feeling of inadequacy is a reflection of your own emotional state. In other words, you might need to question your mood at that moment rather than the relationship itself. Saying "there's something wrong" before clarifying whether there's chemistry or not seems hasty 🙄

While questioning the lack, ask yourself this fundamental question: Did you start this relationship because you truly wanted to, or was it out of a feeling of "it's time"? Because if it's the latter, then your doubts aren't natural, they're justified.

If everything seems fine at first but doubts come later, maybe the other person hasn't opened up in the same way or isn't as invested in the relationship as you are. Is this relationship moving forward because of your own efforts, or is there really a shared flow? I suggest you consider this 🙃

Have you considered the possibility that what you think of as a deficiency or doubt is actually related to your expectations rather than the relationship itself? Could it be more about your ideal in your mind not being met rather than the other person not being "suitable"? Bridge the gap between expectation and reality.

You may not need to distinguish between whether it's a deficiency or hesitation. Both can occur at the same time. For example, if you feel something is missing, that deficiency may be causing your hesitation. But the main question is: is your share in this hesitation due to the limits or fears you impose on yourself, or is it really a mismatch? So, first try to be honest with your feelings.

Doubt brings the question, "Should it be?" So, if there were no doubt, would you feel this relationship is natural and right? First, answer this question 😂

Let's say there was no hesitation, how are you going to trust the question "did it feel right?" Sometimes a person can't even be completely honest with themselves. Perhaps the issue isn't whether you feel something or not, but how much the other person makes you feel the "event"?

Is the hesitation also stemming from the weight of your own expectations? In other words, is there a thought that everything should feel very "special"? Sometimes it’s hard to notice the comfort within the ordinary; perhaps you should consider that.

While experiencing doubts in a relationship, it's also important to consider this: Is this feeling constant, or does it only arise in certain situations? If it's limited to specific moments, there might be a trigger coming from you during those times. If it feels like a consistent emotion, take a closer look at the relationship dynamics or the other person's attitude. Which one weighs more?

At first, your feelings may not be clear, and that's not unusual. But if the doubt you're talking about is affecting your sense of security, I would say don't underestimate it. Is there a disconnect in your communication with the other party? Can you talk about this doubt with them? Or is it just turning inward completely?

"Can you talk to him about your hesitation?" It's a nice question, but everyone assumes that something like this can be discussed. The way the other person reacts is also important. When you mention your hesitation, what kind of person do you turn into? Do they listen, get defensive, or belittle it? Because this gives more clues about the future of the relationship.

Having doubts is not necessarily a bad sign. In fact, sometimes hesitating can be a way to realize how much you really want this relationship. Think about it: if this relationship were completely wrong, you wouldn’t even hesitate; you would feel a clear sense of discomfort. Meanwhile, consider asking yourself, "Is the other person thinking about this relationship as much as I am?"

While focusing on the source of your hesitation, have you tried to think not only about your emotional reactions but also your physical ones? For example, how does your body react when you are around them; are you tense, uncomfortable, or are you at peace but just have question marks in your head? These can be clues just as much as emotions.