I'm getting ready for my wedding, but my mother-in-law has started to intervene in everything. While trying to coordinate from two places at once, I'm having to make changes just because of her requests. I'm struggling to make my own decisions now. I don't know how I'm going to get through this situation.
At our wedding, my mother-in-law insisted on having gold decorations, even though the venue was primarily green. It turned into a mess, but in the end, it was completely as she wanted. My lesson: cut her off right from the start, otherwise, it just keeps snowballing.
Well, in this matter, the elders of the family definitely have a say. At some point, they'll step in because two families are coming together; no one is just doing their own thing. I think you shouldn't push back too much; harmony is important.
@kahvebitmeden I seriously get annoyed by this logic. If it's my wedding, why are the mothers making the decisions? It's so common to say 'it's a matter of both families' and silence the voices of the bride and groom, but it's ridiculous.
just tell your spouse directly, they need to solve this situation. if necessary, have someone step in, interrupt your mother’s first words; it creates less tension. if you continue without saying anything, it feels like giving in from the start.
Where is your spouse in this situation? Are they supportive or staying silent? Because both of you need to agree on the same thing.
@pazardandondum actually, my spouse is a bit hesitant about their mother too. They agree with me but every time they say, "let's just manage it." They are stuck in between 😅
What you said to @hatconene is true, but you say let me do everything. It doesn't work that way, we need to balance the pressure 🤷♀️
Things won't get resolved without clear communication with your spouse.
don't mute anyone. it's the bride's day after all 🙃
If your spouse says "I'm stuck in the middle," the place they are really stuck is clear: their mother's side. Because what you want is clear, but what they want is to manage. A person stuck in the middle remains in limbo and doesn't lean to one side. I think you should discuss this situation a bit with your spouse, so they can clarify their decision first.
