My mother-in-law is interfering in everything, what should I do?

I think you should clearly set your boundaries. You need to gently make your spouse feel that you can no longer tolerate this situation. Staying silent in response to an interfering elder only makes it a bigger habit. By allowing them to raise their voice, you are convincing them that they are doing the right thing.

I swear we had a similar situation in our house as well. My spouse spoke firmly with their mother, but while doing so, they calmly said, 'we are a family.' It seemed to work for a while. Maybe you could encourage your partner to have this conversation once again.

But isn't it strange that your spouse never talks? It's like they say, 'I will talk nicely,' but don't. If there's something to discuss with their mother, why is it only your spouse that talks and not you? Maybe it's worth asking if they really don't want to, or are they just afraid of upsetting their mother?

In marriages, the most critical issue is usually external interventions. If your spouse is not talking to their mother, they might be avoiding a passive conflict. But when you intervene, it becomes more likely that your spouse will be caught in the middle. So, a plan should be made to establish a boundary with your spouse; otherwise, everyone will dig in their heels about their own righteousness.

Let me also say, it's not always like this, but whenever the topic of food or cleaning comes up, my mother-in-law always has something to say; she even goes as far as to criticize the order in the house. My spouse says, 'That's just how she is, you shouldn't take it to heart,' but it's not that easy 🥲

I think your spouse might be deliberately keeping quiet to avoid being caught in the middle. Why might they not have spoken even once? Are they wary of their mother, or do they think they don’t get along with you that well? Staying this neutral seems a little strange to me.

This is your spouse openly avoiding responsibility. By allowing her mother to interfere with your household, she is disregarding your efforts as well. You need to be clear. If you don't set a boundary with "Mom, this is our home, our decisions," you will be crushed in this constant struggle.