My mother-in-law is messaging my girlfriend on WhatsApp

Is your partner feeling uncomfortable with these messages but might not be able to express it directly? I got the impression that they might be choosing to stay passive and not want to confront your mother. If that's the case, it's important to communicate openly with your partner and learn about their feelings before the situation escalates.

Just as what your mother writes to your boyfriend should be carefully considered, so too should what your boyfriend writes to your mother. Your mother may initiate everything, but if your boyfriend is maintaining this communication, it means he has developed some ease or habit with it. Doesn’t the fact that your boyfriend can communicate so easily with your mother make you feel left out, for example?

We also need to consider how frequently these communications occur. If there is constant and detailed communication, then this already goes beyond the framework of a "normal relationship". If there is only occasional greeting, could the issue be being made a bit too big?

When your mom writes to her significant other, does she share something special about you, like childhood memories, personal details, etc.? If there is such a flow of information, it seems a bit like an effort to "make space for herself." Have you ever thought about whether you or your mom has more influence in the relationship?

I was curious whether your mother is trying to get into your partner's private life in these communications. For instance, is she asking too many details about their family, work, or opinions? If your partner feels like they are in a position to "account" for themselves in some way, it could be that your mother is trying to control not just you, but them as well.

Have you ever thought about whether your mother influences the decisions regarding your relationship in these communications? For example, have there been moments when you noticed your mother's influence in your partner's attitude towards you or in their words? Because if this situation is not just limited to communications, it could turn into an indirect manipulation ground.

If your partner hasn’t mentioned this situation to you at all, it might be because they are trying to get along well with your mother. But this silence doesn’t mean "acceptance." How do you think your partner would react if they completely stopped communicating with your mother? Perhaps this is where the real issue needs to be addressed.

Have you stopped to think why Anne is doing this? Does she want to establish some sort of partnership with your girlfriend by chatting with her, or has she found another way to keep you under control? But what's even more interesting is why your girlfriend agreed to this situation in the first place. They could both be invading each other's space.

Has your partner ever shown you the content of these conversations? I mean, what's being talked about, what kind of tone is there, is everything transparent? Because if your partner has normalized the situation in some way, you need to understand that; maybe they are portraying it differently to you.

If your partner decides to cut off communication, rather than focusing on your mother’s reaction, I think it’s important to concentrate on whether your partner has talked to you about this. In other words, did they ask for your opinion on these exchanges? Or are they just trying to manage the situation? Because if they are ignoring your discomfort just to maintain harmony, the real issue might lie within the relationship dynamics.

Did your partner ever switch to a "we" language while chatting? I mean, did they ever use a tone that made you feel like they were directly connecting with them while pushing you aside? Because it's not just about the content of what was written, the type of connection that's intended is important too.

Okay, let’s assume that your partner is violating your mother's boundaries, but your partner continues to communicate regardless. Does this indicate that your partner is not clarifying their own boundaries, or do they find the correspondence with your mother advantageous for their own interests? Either way, that's a problem.

If your partner didn't clearly share the content of the conversation, could they be thinking that this situation is their responsibility, not yours? In other words, is there a kind of comfort in the mindset of "whatever she does is fine"? Because if such acceptance exists, it's necessary to bring the balance in the relationship into question.

How long has this correspondence between your mother and your girlfriend been going on? Is it a one-time thing, or is there regular communication? If it has become constant, it may have turned into a "habit," and in such cases, it's important to understand why the parties involved have normalized it. Especially if your mother has turned this into an authority issue regarding you, it can be concerning for your girlfriend to enter the same cycle.

But if your mother can control your partner, how will your partner defend you in this situation? Messages might be creating a power dynamic and this weakens your position. Is your partner aware of this, or are they actually surrendering to your mother under the excuse of "coping"?

Did your partner tell you about this situation right away, or did you notice it yourself? Because if they brought it up by hiding it or delaying it, it means there is a transparency issue with you, regardless of the content of those messages. Before it turns into an issue between your mother and your partner, I think you need to focus on the communication between you two.

If your partner hasn't shown you the messages, you're relying solely on their comments regarding what your mom has written. This makes it difficult for you to make a balanced assessment. Have you ever thought about talking to your mom directly about this? I mean, maybe it's not about your partner but rather your inability to set a clear boundary.

It's important not only how often your mother talks to your partner but also how personal the topics are. For example, do they talk about their own lives and plans, skipping over you? Because the issue now isn't about "messaging" but the nature of the connection. If they are forming a connection that excludes you, it may be necessary to discuss this directly with your mother.

Now think about this: Why isn't your mother telling you about these messages directly? I mean, she can talk to your girlfriend but if she isn't sharing with you, is there a habit of hiding something or excluding you from the equation? It seems like it all comes back to your communication with her.

If your mom started this without your consent, why didn't your girlfriend express discomfort and set her boundaries at that point? I mean, if from the very beginning your girlfriend thought, "It's your mom, I don't want to upset her," and remained passive, it seems like the issue isn't just your mom overstepping boundaries, but also your girlfriend choosing to adapt to this situation. So, why did she choose to adapt?

It's unclear how much initiative your partner has taken in these exchanges. Is it something solely started by your mother, or is your partner also willing to continue this communication? Because if it's a voluntary situation, it could kind of turn into a "double game." That part needs to be clarified.

Is your mother doing this to establish some sort of superiority over you, or has she just developed a "friendly" relationship? Because sometimes these kinds of things can turn into a sort of show of "look how good we are" just as much as they can exclude you. How does your partner fit into this situation; could she have been assigned a certain role?

The conversation with her doesn't directly show you, and your partner is also cutting off this communication and not involving you. Both of you are allowing an external relationship rather than dealing with what is happening between you. As long as you remain silent in this situation, everyone is comfortable, and no one will change their position. The more you stay quiet, the smaller your role becomes. Where you will make this clear is important.

The timing of these communications is important. Did it break off the moment you said your partner was uncomfortable with this communication, or did they express it only after a while? Because if what they complained about had been part of it for a while, that seems a bit contradictory. If you’re uncomfortable, you would clearly withdraw in the first message. If you didn't withdraw, why not?

If the correspondence has developed over time, it's also debatable whether your mother's intention expanded your partner's comfort zone. If they initially said "okay," it implies that they gave your mother some kind of ground. But the main question is this: did your partner view this as a problem before they started talking to you, or did the discomfort begin with your awareness? How real is this discomfort, and how much of it is reaction-based?

The fact that your mom can communicate so comfortably with your girlfriend and that your girlfriend is allowing this blurs the boundaries between them and you. There's also this: why didn't your girlfriend respond immediately when your mom was so "nice" to her and said that you were uncomfortable? Maybe she couldn't decide how to position herself between you two and chose to play both sides. Then, shouldn't you question how much she's invested in her connection with you?

Did your partner tell you about these messages themselves, or did it come out because you noticed and asked? If they didn't mention it on their own, why did they choose to hide it or wait to bring it up? Understanding their approach to this situation will give you a clearer idea than just the content of the messages.

If your mother can establish this relationship outside of you, it means she sees a gap in your dynamics with her. The issue lies not so much in your partner's position, but in your communication with your mother. A side that cannot build a shared story with someone easily makes way for a third party. Have you ever talked to your mother about why she feels the need for these communications?

If your partner is uncomfortable with these messages, why is she taking a middle ground instead of completely cutting off communication with your mother? Continuing to correspond while saying she's uncomfortable seems a bit like an effort to "manage the situation." Is she trying to manage you or your mother?

It's a bit inconsistent to express discomfort about your partner's correspondence with your mother and then allow that situation to continue. But there is also this: Maybe the dialogue between her and your mother wasn't a problem for him at first, and your awareness or reactions later led him to question it. Have you thought about how well your partner is at clarifying his own boundaries? Because this "coping" state might be his general way of relating.

Have you ever questioned how personal the topics are when chatting with your partner? I mean, is it just general politeness, or are other details being discussed in your absence? If there isn't a clear framework for their communication, everyone creates their own space as they see fit.

I'm curious about your initial reaction when you first noticed these messages. Did you go directly to your partner, or did you talk to your mom? Because here, just as it's important to establish boundaries, it's also significant who first defended this space.

Alright, but why should it be entirely your partner's responsibility to set boundaries regarding communications between her and your mother? Your mother seems to be the one escalating the situation, so shouldn’t you talk to her about these boundaries? It's easy to put the blame on your partner, but who is the primary party involved here?

Could your mother’s ease of communication with your partner be partly due to a bit of "competition with you"? In other words, she might not only be testing boundaries but also her position in your life. If there are elements in these exchanges that sideline you or do not center on you, it might be necessary to question your mother’s motivations further.

Have you thought about what your share is in your partner's communications with their ex? I mean, if your partner is upset but initially didn’t inform you about it, is this a case of not being open with you, or did it turn into a moment of "compatibility" with their ex? Just as the way of communicating is important, so is your position in that communication.

But do you really know the reason why your mother initiated this correspondence? Is she genuinely trying to interfere in the relationship, or is she trying to create a different space for herself under the guise of "sincerity"? Because if there's no intention behind this form of communication, it's troubling, and if there is, it's even more troubling.

Have you ever checked if your partner does what they say about these messages? I mean, are they really uncomfortable but not speaking up, or are they just pretending to be uncomfortable while maintaining the situation? Because sometimes people can act like they feel uncomfortable without actually feeling it.

When did your partner tell you about the messages with your mom, or did you catch them yourself? Because how this situation initially developed is important. If your partner hid it, claiming they feel uncomfortable seems a bit off. If they didn’t hide it, could it be that the ease of their relationship with your mom is because you aren’t acting as a buffer between them?

I've moved past the initial reaction to your mother texting your girlfriend, but how could you remain so indifferent to these conversations still continuing? If you're uncomfortable, why didn't you pull the plug? If you're not worried, why are you bringing it up here?

What if your mother openly enjoys communicating with your partner and continues to do so? Maybe it's a control area or a power play for her. Even if your partner feels uncomfortable, you might not know what to do in the face of your mother's "stubbornness" or "insistence." Have you ever sat down with your mother and asked her directly, "Why are you communicating?" Because the root of the issue lies there.

While discussing the role of the mother in your partner's messages, it seems overlooked how willingly your partner engages in this communication. In other words, your mother might be overstepping, but how much space is your partner giving for that? Perhaps these messages provide a certain "ease" for your partner at some point; this cycle continues without you asking and them explaining. Meanwhile, how casual or personal is the content of the messages? I think the content dynamics reveal a lot.

Have you ever thought about the times of the conversations besides their content? For example, at what times of the day do these discussions peak? Sometimes even the time intervals can reveal the dynamics: if it's during the day, it's daily work; if it shifts to the night, it indicates too much comfort.

Have you ever tried comparing what your mother writes to her partner with what she says to you? In other words, when bringing up the same subject, does she approach you with one tone and him with another? If there is a strategy of "division" in communication, it implies a conscious intervention. Have you ever considered the possibility that this correspondence might disrupt the balance between you two?

Can you sense something about why your mom sees messaging with your girlfriend as "normal" in her own way? I mean, is this a habit where everyone in the family should maintain the same distance with one another, or is it just a situation specific to your girlfriend? Because if she generally doesn't have this kind of attitude, then we need to focus on the question of "why your girlfriend?"

Has your partner ever drawn any boundaries regarding this correspondence? I mean, your mother can be very persistent, but your partner can maintain distance after all. If they are brushing it off with "She's your mother, I don't want to upset her," it actually means they are paving the way for this situation themselves. If they are talking about feeling uncomfortable, then why are they still continuing? That’s the real question to ask.

Questioning the content of the messages with your mom, their timing, and your partner's attitude is fine, but I’m curious about one thing. When your partner first explained the situation to you, did they say "I'm uncomfortable," or did they approach it neutrally, saying, "This is what's happening"? If it was the latter, then maybe they aren't that bothered by this relationship from the very beginning. Because a truly uncomfortable person would have taken some action to prevent your mom from messaging, and wouldn't have stayed passive with some excuses in between.

When writing to your beloved, it’s not just what you talk about that matters, but also how you express it. Are the words used, the terms of endearment, and even the effort to create a sense of intimacy in the writing style present? For instance, do phrases like "my dear, sweetheart" appear, or is it completely distant and formal? Because sometimes, the tone gives away the intention clearer than the content itself. Have you ever noticed this?

Have you thought about whether your mother has a habit of messaging others as well? I mean, does she generally have a tendency to write to everyone, or is this something specific to her relationship with her partner? If it's directly focused on her partner, could this behavior be an attempt to convey a message about you?

Does your mother mention your partner's family or any private details about your relationship in her correspondences? In other words, are there topics that are entirely unrelated to the current situation, things that don't really concern her or that might interfere with your relationship? Because at some point, it felt to me that your mother was trying to create a sense of control in your life rather than a closeness with your partner.

Who starts these conversations? I think you should take a look at who the first messages usually come from. Because the initiating party gives away who wants to play a bigger role in the dynamic of the relationship.

How clearly did your partner show you that correspondence? Do you see and evaluate the full texts, or are you just settling for summaries like "my mom wrote this, and I replied like that"? Because when it's conveyed through an intermediary, the tone of the situation can completely change; for instance, a detail that doesn't affect you might seem too close to her.

What side of the ex-girlfriend could he have shown so much interest in? I mean, is there something that makes communicating with her directly valuable, in your opinion? For example, her knowledge, attitude, or any trait... Because sometimes these things are based on something more specific than just "talking for the sake of talking." Try to figure this out.

Could the mother have an intention of "pulling your boyfriend to her side"? In other words, maybe she's trying to exert indirect control by influencing him instead of you. This seems to be related not only to correspondence but also to the dynamics of power between you two. In this situation, how much can your boyfriend remain "himself"?

Could your partner be trying to establish a harmonious connection with your mother in these discussions? In other words, even if there's something that could cause discomfort, they might have adopted an approach of "let me find a middle ground, to avoid unrest" instead of discussing it with you. Have you considered such a possibility?

How is your partner handling these messages? I mean, do they completely align with your mom, or are they avoiding expressing any discomfort if they have it? Because just as much as the content of the messages is important, your partner's reaction to this situation is also quite decisive for your relationship. If they are naively agreeing or saying "I don’t care, that’s between you two," it might be worth questioning their stance a bit.

Have you noticed an inappropriate level of intimacy in your mother's conversations with your partner? I mean in the tone of jokes, the way they address each other, the depth of personal issues, etc.? Because if they're building an "independent bond" rather than just a "communication," the matter can go in a different direction. Do you have a clear impression about this?

In addition to the mother's role in the correspondence, one should also consider why your partner is leaving such open doors. Is their approach "I don’t care" or are they, in their own way, trying to appease feelings? If this level of close contact has become normalized, it’s important to revisit the clarity of the boundaries between you and your partner.

Could your mother have offered a compliment or details that make your girlfriend feel special in these communications? You know, that feeling as if a confidant or a special bond is being established? If your girlfriend cannot remain indifferent to this either, I think it’s worth considering what your mother is trying to achieve with this behavior.

So, is there a similar intimacy in their face-to-face communication as well, aside from the messages between your mother and your partner? Is this situation unique to their texts, or is the boundary between them generally blurred? Because if this isn't limited to just their correspondence, it could indicate a more substantial "claiming" effort.

But why does your partner keep saying "I find this strange" and not bringing the situation to you? If you're not pushing, are they feeling relaxed about it? It seems like there's a bit too much normalization going on, is no one openly saying "this is weird"?

Does your partner share the content of these conversations with you openly? In other words, is everything clear to you, or do they not explain it unless you ask? Because even if there's open communication, the issue of "not noticing discomfort" is a separate topic, but privacy is another matter.

Could your mother's way of communicating be an unconscious method to test the dynamics of your relationship with your partner? In this situation, what kind of "balancer" role does your partner take on, and how much does this style of communication with your mother align with their character? Are they open to such closeness with their own mother as well, or is this situation entirely unique to you?

Does your partner know that you're uncomfortable with these messages? If not, that's already a problem. If they do and are still in the "let's not make a big deal out of it" mode, that's an even bigger issue. This will be resolved by seeing their reaction.

What is the mother's intention in doing this? Is she trying to establish a one-on-one connection with your partner, or is this communication an extension of a power struggle with you? Because if this is a move directed at you, your partner may be unwittingly becoming an intermediary.

Is your mom trying to take advantage of a weak point of your partner? For example, if your partner is someone who needs attention, your mom might have noticed that. In this case, the issue shifts from your mom's attitude to whether your partner is open to it. So, who is really at fault?

I just asked myself how often this chat happens. If it's a constant exchange, things change; if it's just occasionally, maybe you're making it a bigger deal than it is. If you're talking about daily conversations, what could there possibly be to talk about that much?

Have you noticed any hint or tone in the correspondence between your girlfriend and Anne that crosses the "relationship boundary"? For example, excessive joking around, discussing little personal details, etc. If there's anything like that, you might want to talk directly to your girlfriend and ask to see those messages in detail, because while it may look like a boundary from the outside, the content could be sensitive.

I think in this situation, your mother's communication style is also important, meaning not just how affectionate, humorous, or distant your partner is, but how much your mother behaves differently when communicating with you compared to when she's communicating with him. Some mothers may unconsciously try to establish a more privileged bond with a sense of competition.

Here, the way your mother writes messages to your boyfriend is just as important as the tone in which your boyfriend responds to them. So, even if your mother is crossing a boundary, is your boyfriend standing firm at that boundary or is he allowing it to be crossed indifferently? Also, does your mother have a tendency to claim this relationship as "my guy"? Pay attention to that. Because if it goes that far, the issue is not just about communication, but also related to a power balance problem.

Could your partner be creating a "confidant" in this communication with her mother? In other words, she might be discussing things with her that she hasn't shared with you, perhaps looking for some minor venting. If that's the case, and your partner isn't able to gently redirect this to you, there is an imbalance here. Your partner should have the courage to remind her that this relationship is between two people.

So why do you communicate with your partner one-on-one? You could open a group chat, and three people can talk, everyone stays in the loop. Why is there such a closed communication? Is there a logical explanation for this?

When chatting with your mom and girlfriend, do topics about you come up? For example, plans, ideas, details about you, and so on? If she is communicating in a way that puts you at the center somehow, then the whole dynamic may have shifted away from a simple mother-girlfriend relationship to an indirect control mechanism.

So, does your mom seem to be constantly initiating communication with your girlfriend under the guise of another topic, or is she actually writing in a situation that requires it? Because sometimes people interpret their share too broadly, and your mom's excuses could be interesting in this context. For example, if she starts with "I'll ask her this," and the conversation keeps going, pay attention.

Maybe your mom is trying a way of communication with your partner that she couldn't establish with you. In other words, she might be trying to understand you indirectly by telling your partner the things she can't share with you. If that's the case, could the problem lie in the communication between you and your mom?

Have you ever checked how often and in what context your mother messages you from her phone? For example, is this a starting point, or is your mother the one who is more often the one continuing the conversation with your girlfriend? Because if one side is messaging, the other might be responding out of politeness, but if the same person is always making the first move, the true intention might be hidden there.

Does the language your mother uses in conversations with your partner act as a sort of "intermediary" for you? In other words, is she trying to obtain a response or answers from you indirectly through your partner, which she can't get directly from you? If she's trying to establish such a connection directly, it means your partner has somewhat become a mediator, which doesn't seem like healthy communication.

There's no need to overthink the theory; I'm asking directly: Why does your partner leave the door open for this situation from the beginning? Let's say your mom is just being a mother in the messages, but what about the partner? Are they just a "partner keeping their distance"? What does each person tolerate? I think that's the real issue.

Is your partner telling you about these messages, then? I mean, how clear are the things they talk about in front of you? If there’s a detail being kept from you, those messages should be shared with you so you can see them openly. Otherwise, this secrecy just complicates things.

So has your partner ever set their own boundaries in this communication? For example, have they said something like, "It would be better if you talked about this with X instead of me"? Or is your mom messaging, and they're just passively responding? To understand the dynamics here, you need to look not only at your mom's actions but also at how your partner is managing this situation.

Even if all the messages were initiated by your mother, is your partner willing to continue them? In other words, it seems we've skipped over the question of how much need there is. The real critical point is: was this matter comfortably normalized from the beginning? Because something that starts with a "well, what's the big deal" can later spiral out of control.

In the midst of all this analysis, we need to question why your mother directed those messages to your partner instead of to you. Is this a choice, or is it a roundabout way of trying to make her voice heard? Have you ever tried sitting down face to face with her and asking, "Why are you messaging him so much?" It's difficult to resolve things based solely on assumptions without clearly hearing her intentions.

If your girlfriend is openly telling you about the messages with her mother, you only know as much as she's told you. Did you see those messages in person? Because when she summarizes things with "she wrote this, he said that," there's a high chance she'll skip some small details. If there's more than what you've been shown, then the issue becomes what your girlfriend has censored.

Your mother chatting this much with your boyfriend may stem from a certain "comfort" established between the two of them. But if this comfort poses a threat to your relationship, I think you should talk to your boyfriend about how this situation affects you. Leave the confrontation with your mother for later; first, you need to clarify your boyfriend's stance. How sustainable would these conversations be without him?

Why might a mother find it reasonable to open such a line of communication? Does she perhaps see your partner as a sort of " ally"? Or is she trying to resolve things that she can't handle with you through your partner? The main issue here is whether there is just a "correspondence" between them or if a "relationship dynamic" has formed. This distinction is important.

Could your partner have taken on a role as a "mediator" or "communication bridge" in these messages, even if they don't want to? In other words, has this work become a task for them? Or is this situation benefiting them, acting on their own initiative at a point where they don't share enough with you? I think in this case, it's difficult to come up with an idea about that dynamic without looking at the content of their messages, going beyond just a simple "is it normal or not" question.

All that aside, does your partner realize that there's tension between you due to these messages? In trying not to hurt anyone's feelings, could they be overlooking your discomfort? Is your feeling clearly understood here? Think about it.

So does your partner use their own words when responding to these messages, or do they adopt a language that your mother wants? In other words, is there a complete "effort to conform" going on, or can they maintain their own opinion and distance? I think this could be an important detail.

Could your mother be trying to somehow sidelining you in these conversations? I mean, is she consciously opting to communicate directly with your partner instead of you? Because this situation could unintentionally give her more control.

Even if your partner tells you about these messages, how can you be sure that they are conveying what your mother wrote completely accurately? Your mother's style of speaking, tone, intention... How does your partner interpret these, do they add their own filter? For example, when your mother expresses a complaint, does it come back to you as a softened version from your partner? If there is manipulation involved, it's important to clarify who is doing it. Just saying "they're telling" isn't enough; you also need to look at how the content is presented.

It seems like you're commenting on the content of the correspondence between your mother and your girlfriend without knowing much about it. Are these communications related to you, or are they completely independent matters? Because if the issue revolves around you, it could very well be that you are the one being sidelined here.

The fact that the mother has set up such a communication line made me wonder; could the content of these exchanges be putting pressure on you or your relationship in some way? I mean, is there an attempt to intervene that influences the environment through what is written, rather than just messaging? Or does everything seem to be flowing normally while the real issue is being handled in the background?

If your mother isn't directly explaining the reason for messaging your partner, it's worth asking why your partner is allowing this. In other words, what does this situation contribute to your partner? Is it a sacrifice to get along well with your mother, or does your partner want to establish an independent connection? These are important questions because in either case, your position is affected.

This communication line between your partner and your ex is bothering you right now, but why does your partner find this situation normal? For example, have you asked them directly? Both of them are comfortably communicating without going through you, and it’s also important to consider who initiated this channel. If they said something like, "I started it, but I kept it going," then think about who is more eager here.

Have you never seen the content of these messages? Have you blatantly asked your partner, "What are you talking about?" Because if you are reacting so strongly to a completely independent dialogue, either you don't know the details or you have a separate trust issue.

The main issue is whether they are overstepping your boundaries while talking to your ex. If they are asking them things that they should be asking you directly, or if there are messages circulating in the background that could affect your relationship, then there is a problem. It’s not just about saying "what are you guys messaging about?"; it’s important to understand why such a line of communication has been established.

You don't have control over the content of the messages, but why does your mother feel the need to establish such a connection with your partner? I mean, if she's trying to resolve things with them instead of you, she either has insecurity towards you or a different motivation to connect with your partner. Clarify not just the discomfort but also where this connection is coming from.

Have you ever thought about what tone your mother might be using when she writes to your significant other? For example, is her writing style the same as when she talks to you, or does she use a different kind of language? Because sometimes the same person can communicate in completely different ways with different people, and that changes the dynamics of the situation.

Why do you seem so innocent about this situation, like it's just "a connection to make"? Doesn't a mother look out for her child? Why is she putting in so much effort to impress your partner? Could it be that she is trying to transfer her control over you to the overall balance of your relationship? Think about it.

It's interesting that your girlfriend maintains this dialogue as much as your mother does. If your mother is a dominant character, could it be that your girlfriend is drawn into it in some way, even if she doesn't want to respond? Or does your girlfriend see this communication as natural? Each creates different dynamics, so make that distinction.

Could your mother bypassing you in communication with your partner say something about how she sees your role in the relationship? In other words, does she view you as an intermediary or a passive figure? Because the root of this communication line might be linked to that perception.