My roommate literally fights over leaving the dishes in the kitchen for hours. Cleaning is important to me, but they are always in the "Oh, whatever, I’ll take care of it later" mode. Is it a problem that I’m too picky, or shouldn’t they be a bit more organized? It feels like we’ve lost peace at home; how do you think we can solve this?
I had a similar roommate who turned the kitchen into a war zone. It's definitely their comfort issue because cleanliness is a shared space matter. If they're saying something like, 'the dishwasher has been invented,' then you should just say, 'then use it' 🙄
I swear I lived in a student house just like you, the worst solution is the duty system. We were seriously writing down a 'dishwashing order'. But those who say 'I'll take care of it later' usually never take care of it, you need to be clear from the start.
But on the other hand, your obsession with these details is the problem. I mean, what’s going to happen if those dishes sit for a day? If you're saying we've even lost our peace of mind, maybe you could try to relax a bit too, in my opinion 🤦♀️
Conflicts like this in terms of cleanliness actually arise from personal reference differences. In therapy, there's something we call the 'cleanliness threshold'; everyone's limit is different. If necessary, you can establish common rules for a solution and start implementing them, making sure they are written and clear.
Thanks everyone, let me add this: when I ask, they say, 'but I'm already in finals week.' That final ends but this cleaning still isn't done, the work always falls back on me. I don't know how to enforce the system.
Right in response to that final excuse, suggest something like 'then you get your own dish and I'll have my own.' Because those kinds of remarks always lead to a lasting laziness. Or carry some of their stuff outside to mitigate the risk of mess in the kitchen; they might feel a bit uncomfortable.
