My fiancée has prepared an Excel list for the jewelry that will be given to her family and me for the wedding. Everything is itemized, and we even know how many grams of gold we will be buying for each person… I found these detailed calculations a bit strange, honestly, and I’ve gotten a little stressed. Do you think this is going overboard or is it good planning?
9 Answers
9My ex-girlfriend also detailed all the expenses in Excel three months before the wedding. But hers didn’t seem like a plan just for the money; there were no things like who should buy what. So, to be honest, this felt a bit more detailed to me.
We didn’t have anything like that, but my cousin’s mother-in-law kept a similar list when she got married. She even said something like, ‘I’m taking notes on who gives gifts.’ That reminded me right away; I think it seems stressful, but it looks like something that could be effective.
No way, can you really write stuff like this on a list? What’s the deal with the gram of gold? I think your fiancé seems super controlling, are you sure you can get used to this?
Although making this account book might seem unnecessary, confusion often arises in large families. For example, someone might be charged too little or too much, and then it becomes a topic of conversation. If your fiancé did this for that reason, I think it’s a somewhat sensible move.
I want to add that my fiancé said, “Everyone should know what to get so there’s no confusion.” But to me, that still seems a bit too detailed. I mean, isn’t this kind of judging everyone based on their gifts? 
That’s how things are, just to avoid any talk. Especially when it comes to gold and such, people become very sensitive. After all, in our culture, there’s always this mentality of ‘what will people say’ from engagement to wedding. It’s done to prevent any issues between families.
I think this is not just something done to protect his family. Could there have been a problem in his family regarding this before? Because this detailed list gives me a bit of a vibe like, ‘they made a mistake in this matter in the past.’
Men are solution-oriented, I think that’s why he did something like this. I mean, he might have wanted to clarify things from the beginning to avoid dealing with wedding stress. He may not have wanted to put pressure on you, but rather to make your job easier 
I’m going to ask something, don’t these jewelry pieces stay with you after the wedding? I mean, for example, why is extra gold bought for his family? It’s like a tradition, but isn’t it a bit strange?