My fiancée and I have started planning our wedding, but from the very beginning, we are arguing about expenses. She wants her family to be involved in everything and is imposing her luxurious choices on me. I prefer something more economical, but my opinions are not taken seriously. What do you think I should do?
6 Answers
6I don’t think it’s right for Bence to involve their family. You’re the one getting married, why impose their luxurious choices? I spoke openly at my own wedding, saying, ‘We’ll do it according to our budget.’ If you don’t set boundaries at this point, interventions will never end throughout the marriage.
At this stage, communication is very important. If the family is not familiar with the economy, sit down together and make a clear calculation. For example, write down the costs of things like venue, food, clothes, etc. Once you determine your priorities, the “luxuries” will naturally eliminate themselves. We did it this way, and it yielded good results.
So how economical is that thing you call economic, really? For example, if you say it’s just “acceptable” when it comes to a simple living room, why should the guy’s family accept it? Also, your fiancée’s family has to be somehow in harmony with you too. I think you should try to find a middle ground instead of insisting on your own decisions entirely.
Actually, it’s essential to create a budget plan here. That is, how much you will spend in total, and who is contributing how much? If you clarify your own income and expenses on paper, you can defend your limits better. I suggest not to strain your own budget.
There is also the issue that his family is involved in the jewelry aspect apart from the wedding. For instance, they insist that there must be a certain amount of gold, which stresses me out a lot. I wanted to bring this up because the basis of the argument isn’t just about the wedding 
I think this job seems endless. Being a couple means making joint decisions, but at the beginning, you’re discussing not your own wishes but rather his family. This is not just a wedding; it’s your life. You really need to determine who will be involved to what extent now, otherwise, the issues will carry over into the marriage.