Last week, I dyed my hair ash blonde for the first time, and I really liked it. But my boyfriend literally mocked me, saying, 'You looked prettier before, the dye makes it look artificial.' Now I have a million questions in my head; should I go back to my old look, or stick to my own taste? Honestly, I'm feeling guilty. What do you think I should do?
I had a similar thing happen to me once. I cut my bangs for the first time, and my boyfriend said right away, "you were prettier before." I waited three months and grew them back, but then he said, "why did you cut them in the first place?" I think you should just do what you want, otherwise, you won't be able to keep up with their demands.
When I went completely yellow, my spouse didn't like it either, saying "it looked too artificial." But over time, they got used to it and now say, "good thing you dyed it." Since then, I've realized that an initial reaction is normal, but eventually, a person adjusts.
I think you should ask a friend or someone you trust about the color of your hair. Because sometimes people can't be very objective about what suits them. If those around you also say it's good, your partner's opinion may not matter.
I want to say something a bit harsh here, but don't be offended: Why do you care so much about what so many people say? Ultimately, when you look in the mirror, are you happy? That's the real issue. If you compromise your own enjoyment just to please someone else, it will always continue like this.
If your partner's comment upset you, there could be two reasons for it: either you have a need for approval regarding your appearance, or you already feel an imbalance in the dynamics of your relationship. I think you should ask yourself, 'Why did this comment affect me so much?' and take a look at the overall balance of your relationship.
Well, here's the thing: my partner usually supports me, but in this case, they just cut me off with "this is my opinion." Maybe I shouldn't take it too personally, but still, it doesn't sit right with me. It made me feel like my appearance doesn't matter, and I'm trying to understand.
The issue here isn't how you dyed your hair, but rather a man criticizing it saying it looks 'artificial' or something. Ignoring a woman's agency while assessing her situation regarding her appearance is a serious problem. Make your own decision; your boyfriend doesn't have to approve.
Honestly, it felt a bit strange to me. Could there be another reason why they might prefer the old version more? For instance, were you like that when you met someone else, or is there some kind of "nostalgia" in their mind? They wouldn’t say such things directly, but the subtext is important.
Oh my girl, this worry of young people about "my boyfriend wanted this" makes me sad. After all, this hair is yours, isn't it? You can dye it, grow it out, leave it as it is, and do as you please. When talking to your boyfriend, express it nicely; say clearly, "even if you don't like it, I am happy."
