The guy I’m with asked me for a loan, things have been rough and all that… But to be honest, I feel uneasy about it. He has mentioned it a couple of times before, but this time it’s a larger amount. I don’t want to feel like I’m being used, but what if he doesn’t pay me back? What approach should I take in such a situation?
9 Answers
9I’ve been through something like this too. Let me put it this way: the guy initially asked for 2,000 lira as a loan, and I gave it to him, but then he raised it to 6,000 or 7,000. At that time, he was saying things like ‘I’ll get it together,’ but there was no sign of payment or anything. Honestly, if you can’t trust someone, I would say don’t get involved at all.
Just say I don’t think so. Talk along the lines of, ‘This amount is too much for me, I can’t tell if I’ll be able to pay it back, I don’t want to jeopardize our relationship.’ Saying this will give you an idea of the other person’s reaction anyway 
Two things are usually striking in this regard: first, does it create a power imbalance in that debt relationship? Second, if he doesn’t pay, how will you confront him? I recommend you ask yourself these two things before making a decision.
Let me be clear now, after all, there is a situation where you allowed a mutual acquaintance to ask him for a loan. If a relationship is this untrustworthy, what are you doing in it from the start? We can’t blame everything on him here.
I’ll add this: he wasn’t very insistent while talking, but he seemed a bit disheartened. I mean, it’s clear he needs it, but I’m still undecided. The amount is around 10 thousand, by the way, that’s not small.
Actually, think of it this way: asking for a loan isn’t an easy thing, I’m sure they’ve thought about it too. But as you said, if the problem is big and they can’t pay it back in the long run, it can create resentment in you. This issue is very common, so don’t blame yourself too much.
Sure, but it feels like everyone here is commenting as if their economic system is perfect. The guy asked for 10,000, and he’s saying, ‘I can shut it down,’ and that’s the end of the matter. If you’re feeling uneasy about it, you should just say no from the start, that’s all.
What kind of logic is this? The guy is ultimately fed up with his work, and turned to someone he trusts. If there’s no trust like this, the relationship just can’t work. If you can’t pay the money, you should just say so clearly; it won’t work with vague suspicions.
Everyone thinks that he won’t pay, but maybe he always paid before. If he didn’t trust you, why would he even come? Maybe he’s in a tough spot but he just said that to avoid pride…