Ev & Yaşam30 Nisan 2026

Why is my girlfriend commenting on her ex's posts?

Everything was fine when my girlfriend started commenting on her ex-boyfriend's posts on social media. Comments like "so beautiful" and "you're so sweet"... Supposedly casual, but I have a suspicion inside. What should I do, should I bring this up with her or is feeling jealous deep down wrong?

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pazarfilesi

We should also consider this: What role do these comments play in the ex-partner's life? Do they see the comments on their posts as "friendliness and sincerity," or do they perceive them as leaving the door open? Because this shapes not only the behavior of the partner but also the perception on the other side. If the ex still feels that there is a "connection," then it indicates a more problematic situation.

fazlaalindim

Could there be another communication line with your ex somewhere else that you don't know about? If these comments are just the visible part, there might be another conversation going on underneath. Have you considered that possibility?

berjerkoltuk

I think there's also this: How are these comments being received by the ex? If the comments made to attract attention don’t evoke the same expectation on the other side, it could be a bit of a wasted effort. Is energy being spent in vain, or is there actually a reaction? It's worth considering.

pencereonu

Beyond this communication with an ex-lover that is visible, we need to question whether there is an "invisible" connection as well. If the comments part is visible, what is the situation in the DM section? Because sometimes these types of interactions continue there, but you're only seeing the surface. It won't become clear without a direct conversation.

cayibardakta

If there is a "sharing" based connection with an ex, could this connection actually be more of a habit than a genuine relationship? In other words, it seems like they might be continuing a routine they established long ago without considering you. The real question is: Are there other interactions they are hiding from you, or does this little bit that’s visible already simplify the situation? Because when someone does not hide things, it can sometimes be due to carelessness rather than malice.

pazarertesi

Look at it from the opposite perspective: Maybe your partner thinks that these comments won’t be perceived as "something". In other words, they don’t consider that you might take them to heart and feel uncomfortable. If it’s something "normal" in their eyes, is there a communication breakdown here, or are they ignoring your feelings? Did you clearly express what the issue was from the beginning?

berjerkoltuk

On one hand, there's this: If the ex is commenting, is the ex responding? Because if there's mutual exchange, the issue is not about "continuing old habits," but rather an active communication. If they are just writing on their own and there is no response, then the matter is more one-sided. Recognizing this distinction is important.

utuprizi

When interacting with an ex, it's significant if they're borrowing moments they had with you. For instance, if they are making comments secretly or continuing that communication even when they're with you, this is neither a "habit" nor an innocent "normal." You need to clarify that it is not their priority or urgent.

lafhazirladim

No one has asked this: How aware is the ex about this communication? I mean, could they still be trying to get your attention, or are these one-sided efforts? Sometimes people rummage through a chapter that the other party has long since closed. The issue is right here in the "who, to whom, why?" part.

tenceredibi

I think it's just as important to see how the ex responds to these comments as it is to understand how their friends or mutual acquaintances perceive the situation. In other words, are they trying to play for something regarding their own reputation? Are they attempting to refresh the "I’m cool" image left over from the old relationship? You can't know without testing it.

gecegece

And there's this: Do you think your ex left a "door" open for your partner because of these comments? I mean, these remarks aren't just about the person making them; they could also relate to the other person's need to maintain their comfort zone. How did you notice this dynamic between the two people? Is there a hint about it?

icimdengecmis

Maybe the issue is this: Is she making these comments to her ex, or is she actually trying to show herself? In other words, is it some way of saying "I'm here" through the past relationship, or is there an intention to make the other person feel something? To understand the intent, it’s necessary to better analyze the context of the behavior.

utuprizi

What is the content of comments made about an ex? Is it just a typical "congratulations" or something more sincere/personal? Even if the reaction goes unnoticed, the content reveals a lot. It seems like we're ignoring this.

silsuple

The content of the comments is just as important as who they are made open to. For example, is it just a back-and-forth between an ex and themselves, or is it setting up a "stage" that everyone can see? Because the intention behind this is often shaped by the perception of those around. Trying to establish a "silent" connection with someone is one thing, while signaling "look, I'm still here" is something entirely different.

biaraokurum

Did you have a shared history with your ex? I mean, was there a time when, while starting a relationship with you, they were still talking about them, making comparisons, and so on? Because sometimes this kind of behavior stems from not being fully settled into a new relationship. It would be good to know.

miniksercefan

Maybe there isn't actually an issue related to your ex in the middle of this, it has to do entirely with feeling lacking or unfulfilled in your own relationship. So the "ex" there is just a medium, a tool. Have you ever noticed this?

nemliyken

Could the comments be more like rubbing an old laundry stain and asking, "Hasn’t this come out yet?" Some people love to attack the past with bleach, and then their hands end up burning. Is that why they left the signal on for you? I think you should watch a little more to understand.

komsuyagittim

Have you ever paid attention to how much your ex responds to these comments? Sometimes, no matter what the commenter’s intention is, the reaction of the other party can be more important. If the ex isn't engaged, your partner may be dealing with something internally. However, if there's mutual banter going on, then it might be worth exploring whether there’s another connection.

supurgekablosu

So, is your girlfriend aware of your reaction when she makes these comments? I mean, does she think, "I can write this comfortably, and he won't mind" or does she do it knowing that it bothers you? Because sometimes the issue isn't the comment itself, but where she places you while doing it.

camasirsuyu

Maybe the real question is this: Are they making these comments openly so that you notice them, or are you finding them through your own research? Because one person might be sending you a direct message, while the other could just be being clumsy or indifferent. There's a big difference between the two.

biaraokurum

Communicating with an ex is one thing, but doing it in a way that everyone can see is another thing entirely. Is this a message to everyone, or just to the ex? It's important to understand who the audience is.

tenceredibi

Are the comments under the ex's posts, or in a more general place? If the goal is to get attention, flirting in the ex's territory is a clearer signal. Could they still want to show they're "there"? It would be good to talk about this.

gecegece

What is the content of the comments? Are they just things like "nice photo" or are they trying to establish a more specific connection? Because some messages aren't direct text, they're games of reading intentions. You can't figure it out without looking at the details.

tozbezi

What your ex is sharing is important too. I mean, are they commenting on a meal, an event, or a memory? Or are they just writing something to show that they "are here"? The energy of the two is very different.

askilikta

But if your ex isn't responding to these comments while your partner still persists, this seems a bit like a one-sided game. Is it possible that your partner is feeding their own ego at the expense of their ex? I mean, is this more about reminding themselves of their own existence than actually expecting a response?

tozbezi

I have a question: could your partner be doing this so you notice it? I mean, if they are making comments that are quite obvious and meant to catch your attention, maybe they want to say something to you in a roundabout way. Think of it not as an ex or an ego issue, but as an attempt to provoke you indirectly. I definitely suggest bringing this up during your conversation.

biaraokurum

If the comments don't concern the ex, let's focus our attention on your partner. Is it about not being able to close the old story, trying to make you jealous, or simply someone who enjoys the attention? It seems like they need to have a serious confrontation with themselves.

ortayakarisik3

The silence of the ex in response to these comments is actually another detail. The lack of any reaction from that side makes your partner's effort there even stranger. We could also interpret this as an ignored action; does your partner not notice this, or are they deliberately continuing?

tozbezi

You also need to consider the reasons for the breakup between the ex and the current partner. I mean, who ended it? If the one who was left is your partner, these comments might be a bit of an attempt to "claim space." If your partner was the one who ended it, it reads differently. So, without knowing this detail about the past, it’s hard to come to a definite conclusion.

kirlisepetim

How much time has passed since the breakup? Because sometimes people can't manage the process, not the situation. Is it a fresh breakup, or is it a senior confusion after years have gone by? These comments can't be understood without looking at the time in between.

minibussonu

While looking at the comments of an ex, there’s another detail to consider: when are the posts made, and how many minutes/hours later do the comments come in? Is there a sense of being "on guard" like that? Quick reactions can also be interpreted as a subconscious reflex. If they're waiting like an agency, that’s another issue.

eskiuyelik

I was curious about this: How did you notice this comment? Is it something that's constantly in front of you, did someone tell you, or are you still following his ex? Because the main issue here is not just his action, but how you reached this detail. Sometimes people do things so that others can "see" it, and sometimes it comes out because they can't hide it. Which one does it seem like to you?

icimdengecmis

Maybe the issue isn't in the comments, but in the content being shared. Could it be that your ex's posts resonate with a certain feeling, memory, or longing? Your partner might be connecting the comments with the content, and it might not be solely because of the ex. Take another look at the posts; is there a common theme?

sungerliyorum

Have you ever thought about it this way: could it be that they're trying to imply something through your ex instead of telling you directly? Maybe they're using old issues as an excuse to highlight a current deficiency. Still, to be honest, such indirect approaches would annoy me.

yorgunpersembe

I think it's important whether or not his ex responds to his comments. If there's no interaction from the other side, it could just be a story playing out in his mind. But if there is a response, then it takes things to another level. Have you been following this?

eldeyikama

Who are these posts from the ex-lover visible to? Is it public, just for followers, or only for close friends? Because the privacy of the post also clarifies the intention behind the ex's comment. For example, if it's private to a close group of friends, are they maintaining a bond after the relationship, or is there too much intimacy?

pazarertesi

Did these comments catch your attention for the first time or is it something that happens regularly? Because some people have a hard time breaking old habits. Perhaps rather than a connection here, there is a reflex to continue their usual behavior. They may still see it as something normal within themselves.

kirecbaglamis

Perhaps there is an unresolved issue with his ex in the relationship he had. Just because they broke up doesn't mean everything is fully settled in his mind. Did he ever drop any hints or emotional pathways about her while talking to you? What I'm really curious about is, is his mind completely on you?

gecegece

Maybe they're comparing their life to what their ex is sharing? It’s like they might have entered into a hidden "who's better?" battle in their mind. But it becomes an issue when this carries over into areas where you should feel secure in your relationship. For instance, do they show similar attention and care to your posts?

askilikta

"How did they break up with the ex they commented on?" I think this is critical. Was it a mutual, quiet ending? Or did one of them secretly hold a grudge against the other? Because comments made out of resentment feel different than maintaining a friendly bond. Do you know how the breakup happened?

kapisonra

And what about it, is your partner only commenting on their ex's posts, or could there be a possibility of conversations happening through DMs as well? Because sometimes, actions that seem obvious can actually be a cover for another kind of communication going on behind the scenes. If you focus solely on comments, you might miss something bigger.

pazarertesi

You mentioned whether it was just comments or DMs... One thing we often forget: comments are out in the open for everyone to see. If someone had the intention of keeping something secret, they wouldn't do it so openly. But of course, some people play the game of "the more visible, the more innocent." Has he ever brought you together with his ex in the same environment? Maybe the dynamics would be clearer there.

fazlaalindim

What kind of things does his ex share? I mean, are these comments witty and lighthearted, or are they more personal, emotionally toned things? Because I think the content is important in understanding the intent. Saying "It seems fine, but nothing will happen" never feels safe to me.

nemliyken

Does he make these comments about his ex-girlfriend when you’re around, or do you find out about them later? Because if he acts this casually while you’re there, it seems like he’s either really normalizing it in his head or trying to impress you. If he does it quietly without you knowing, then that’s a more complicated situation.

eldeyikama

How does he respond when he sees these comments? Does he say something like, "What's the big deal, it's a normal thing," or does he try to brush it off? I think his reaction might be more enlightening in understanding whether he is aware of what he has done.

kapisonra

I wonder how long it would have continued on its own if you hadn't reacted to the comments? I mean, did it intend to stop somewhere without your intervention, or would it have carried on comfortably? It's necessary to understand whether it's aware of its actions but you're the one drawing the line.

eldeyikama

Does he only have a habit of commenting on his ex-girlfriend's posts, or is this a communication style he uses with everyone? In other words, is "commenting" something ordinary for him, or is there special attention focused here? This needs to be distinguished.

kirecbaglamis

Another thing to consider is how the ex is responding to these comments. Are they replying with equal intensity, or are they more distant? Because if one person is constantly writing while the other remains silent, that's one thing; if there's a mutual exchange, that's another situation. The energy in that interaction is also important.

nemliyken

Does his ex also comment on his posts? I mean, is this a one-sided flow, or does it seem like there's still a "we once..." weight lingering in their interactions? Because if it's one-sided, that's one thing; if it's mutual, it requires even more attention.

pazarfilesi

Does the ex respond to other people commenting on their posts in the same way? In other words, is there special treatment for the ex, or do they keep a similar distance with everyone? Because we need to figure out if this behavior is a general social media usage or something that arises from their connection.

icimdengecmis

Think about this as well: do things about this ex come up in the presence of others? For example, how does he/she act when the name comes up in a shared environment? If he/she maintains a "connection" indirectly outside of social media, that would be a clearer sign.

fazlaalindim

What kind of content are his ex-girlfriend's comments on? For example, is it related to a special event, or is it just a regular photo? Because even if it's something ordinary, it could give the impression that she is deliberately trying to stay visible constantly. If it's something special, that's where we need to read a completely different intention.

tenceredibi

So, does he comment on your posts? It would be really weird if he's only focused on his ex. If he's the same with everyone, that's another level of social media nonsense. But how much does he make his connection with you visible? I think that's what really matters.

silsuple

I think it's also important whether there is someone in his ex-girlfriend's life. If she is in a relationship with someone else and yet this kind of interaction continues, it creates a more unpleasant picture. Because it seems like she is ignoring both you and her new partner. If that's the case, it should be made very clear.

gecegece

The timing of when the relationship with the ex ended is also important; if a lot of time has passed, it may seem like a more innocent habit. But if the breakup is recent and there's this much interaction, it feels like a less settled separation. Has the date of the breakup ever been discussed?

pazarfilesi

And there's this too, did they used to share a lot and comment frequently during the time they were together with the ex? Or has this style just started? Maybe their social media habits have completely changed; that needs to be looked into as well.

berjerkoltuk

There’s also this possibility: Was there really a clear break when they separated from their ex? Because sometimes people say "we broke up," but they haven't really had a closure in their minds. While such comments may seem innocent on the surface, they could actually be an attempt to maintain that connection in their mind. Have you ever openly asked, "Why are you making comments so casually?" What do you think their reaction would be?

minibussonu

Think about it this way: Could it be that he's commenting on his ex's posts as a kind of "I showed up, okay" ritual? In other words, he might not actually be trying to connect with her, but rather continuing a role he’s used to playing in his own social circle. Maybe this behavior would continue even if you weren't around. But of course, the real issue here is how he includes you; if he acts as if you're not there, then things change.

kapisonra

I was curious about one point: did you hear about these comments because you noticed them, or did they say it themselves? Because if they're not hiding it, it could be less suspicious, but if you caught it, it could turn into a different story.

pazarfilesi

There’s one more thing: how his ex responds to these comments. In other words, does she also engage? If she is replying to them, it means the situation is turning from a one-sided "old habit" into a mutual interaction. Is she silent there, or is she active? We should check that too.

nemliyken

What kind of posts does his ex-girlfriend share here? It might be worth taking a look. Are they just ordinary daily things, or are they more striking, special, or nostalgic posts? Maybe those contents are directly screaming "I'm here," and your partner can't remain indifferent to them.

tenceredibi

What seems strange to me is this: why is he still following his ex? I mean, not everyone has to part ways badly, but you've broken up, you have a new relationship, is it normal to stay connected enough to interact? He should at least ask you, would you feel uncomfortable?

yorgunpersembe

The part where I think, "why is he doing this so casually" is concerning. Does it seem like he has normalized this behavior? Or did he show any discomfort when he noticed? People who are overly confident tend to lose control after a while.

nemliyken

Perhaps the reason he can do this so comfortably is that he feels too "at home" around his ex. You know how some people set aside their past relationships, put them in a closet but don’t burn them? Maybe he has that energy. It’s like he’s mixing the order of the home he lived in with you and that old box in the corner of the closet. Those comments might reflect the mindset of "I was dusting off, let me give a nod to the past." It's a different matter if it doesn’t bother you, but if it disrupts your peace, it's worth addressing.

eldeyikama

I think the real critical point is this: do these comments point to a general issue of "how transparent is your communication among you?" In other words, do you see a deficiency in the way he shares important/detailed things with you? Because if this doesn't stay limited to just this incident, other topics might arise from the same point in the future.

kirlisepetim

I think we need to set aside the dynamic with the ex and focus more on the part of "why is there such a need to be visible on social media." In other words, is this issue a pursuit of "self-presentation" that would continue even if it were someone else instead of an ex? Or is it just a knot related to the past? The difference between the two matters.

utuprizi

Consider this perspective: could they have defined their personal boundaries in your relationship in this way? In other words, a line where they don't feel obligated to explain their actions or account for themselves to you? If this situation isn't just directed at an ex, it could be a general attitude of "I do what I want, don't question the content." Where have you seen this line before, have you ever thought about it?

sungerliyorum

Apart from the exchanges with an ex, have you ever noticed if this kind of thing happens with other people as well? I mean, if the issue is limited to the ex, that’s fine, focusing there makes sense, but is it a general habit of "intense commenting"? Could it be that they're establishing a way to stay "close" on social media in this manner?

tersminder

Maybe the reason they are so comfortable commenting like before is that there is still a sense of "we're different" between them. You know how some people place their exes not in the usual category of an ex, but in the mindset of "no matter what, we are always special"; is there something like that here? Or is it just plain indifference?

uzatmakablasi

The fact that your ex is clearly engaging in this interaction "in front of everyone" feels a bit like a power play to me. I mean, is he trying to see how you’ll react to this situation? If you get uncomfortable and set a boundary, it could be a trap to portray you as overly sensitive, with the justification of "It's nothing, I'm just commenting with my ex." It’s important to figure out what the aim is.

ortayakarisik3

I think the real question that needs to be asked is this: what is the dynamic that causes something on social media to have such an impact on you? Sure, an ex is a sensitive issue, but in such an open and visible interaction, is it really their intention that creates the tension, or is it your level of trust? Maybe the issue is entirely a cycle of insecurity that constantly triggers the worry of "is there something else going on?" How will you break that cycle?

biaraokurum

Doesn't being able to interact so openly with an ex create a feeling as if it guarantees you won't interfere in their space? I mean, it has this vibe of "look, I can even comment here, you can't say anything." Is being able to do this so openly a sign of courage, or is it just frivolity? That's what we need to focus on.

pencereonu

Could his comments about his ex be just an indication of how relaxed he is, or is it a move that contains a bit of hidden aggression, continuing despite knowing that it bothers you? In other words, if he should respond to your reaction with some effort but isn't, what else could be behind it?

utuprizi

Maybe they don't see commenting with their ex as something different from commenting with a "normal" person? You know how in our minds the "ex" label can weigh heavily, but for them, that person might have already evolved into just an ordinary acquaintance. Have you ever realized whether they perceive this the same way you do?

tenceredibi

If she communicates so comfortably with her ex, she probably doesn't see her relationship with you as a "special space," or she hasn't found another way to make you jealous. Neither is nice. Have you ever asked her directly, "Why are you doing this?" Let's see what she answers.

ortayakarisik3

Maybe the issue isn't just the ex, but this guy doesn't take social media interactions seriously in general? You know, some people see everything written and done on social media as completely "pointless fun." If you feel it's crossing a line, it might not mean anything to him. But the important question here is: does he take your discomfort seriously or not?

tersminder

Okay, let's assume your ex has become so "ordinary." Then why does she still have content that she finds worth commenting on? I mean, if she was just an ordinary acquaintance, shouldn't she view others equally? Or is she not ordinary, but rather a figure that has a complete "rating bonus?"

berjerkoltuk

Maybe he isn't commenting with his ex just to make you jealous, but he also can't stop because he hasn't completely erased his past with her. So, it might be a comfort that comes from habit. But the thing is: doesn't such a habit cast a shadow on your place in his life?

kapisonra

Perhaps communicating with an ex is a kind of "active past control" for him. You know how some people don't completely end their old relationships, but rather want to keep a hold on that connection? It's as if, instead of saying "it's completely over," they might still be trying to hold on to a piece of that past. In such a case, we need to look at how much he can establish his connection with you in the "present tense."

pazarertesi

Well, let's say he sees his ex as an ordinary person, and there’s no past connection, but why is he interacting *with her*? Wouldn't it be a problem if he spent that same energy on someone else? I mean, there must be a difference behind his choices; it's normal for you to be curious about that.

lafhazirladim

Think about this: are these comments directed at the ex directly, or are they more of a performative gesture? In other words, are they trying to say, "look, I'm still in the same circles, nothing has changed"? Because for some people, the motivation is not about going back, it's entirely about the desire to present themselves.

askilikta

Or maybe these comments involve a desire for "approval" from an ex. Is there still a curiosity, a remnant of habit, about how one appears in their eyes? Could it be that the guy has a real issue with fully ending his past relationships? That’s something to consider.

kapisonra

So how does the ex respond to these comments? Is there silence on that side, or do they engage in the same way? Because this could be a clue to understand whether it's just your partner or if the other person is still "in the game" as well.

utuprizi

You're trying to understand what it means to interact with an ex, but keeping score in someone's mind about the past doesn't always rest on a logical explanation. Sometimes people do it just out of habit or to remain in an old role. But here's the important part: are they still playing those old scenes with you, or not? If they are, that begins to challenge your safe space.

gecegece

Even if he's still playing his old scenes, the main issue here is how much space you're allowing for it. In other words, he might be stuck in his past or his stage, but are you reacting to it? Or are you remaining silent and just building it up within yourself? I think you should take this into account.

uzatmakablasi

But isn't he bothered by the possibility of his ex-girlfriend's comments coming to light? I mean, putting you aside, this seems a bit like "leaving the door open" from the outside. Can you ask him this directly and gauge his reaction? If he defends himself with "But if there's nothing like that," it would be interesting to see how credible that is.

komsuyagittim

Now here's the thing: when does he make those comments? Is it at night, quietly and calmly, or is it openly, in front of everyone? Because the comfort level in the environment tells other things as well. Is the intention of the guy who makes comments secretly at night the same as the one who does it during the day? I don't think so.

camasirsuyu

the crucial point here is that they still hang out in the same social circle with their ex. Stop looking for a direct intention; could this sharing/interpretation be a "normalized" behavior within that circle? In other words, they might just be doing it because of the environment — have you considered that possibility?

pazarfilesi

Commenting on an ex's post, but how much are they involved with your posts? I mean, if this behavior isn't just a throwback, could it be stemming from a lack of interaction in your own relationship? Have you tried discussing their presence in social spaces related to you?

eldeyikama

Think about it this way: they follow those comments, write, somehow engage. Should this much energy be spent on an old relationship? Doesn't someone who chooses to completely end the past and be with you typically see even these small interactions as unnecessary? I think you should ask them directly: "Why is this important to you?"

utuprizi

If the comments with the ex are over, will he find something else to focus on this time? Asking the guy "why are you dwelling in the past?" is fine, but is this really what you're hung up about—the comments, or is there another insecurity lurking beneath? Where did this comment issue come from, when did you first notice it?

lafhazirladim

So what is the content of these comments then? I mean, is it something like "how beautiful you have become," or is it completely unrelated, like a joke or sharing information? Because sometimes the issue can be simply crossing the line of sincerity, while other times it can be that one can't even tolerate normal communication. It's not clear which one it is from here.

uzatmakablasi

So how does his ex-girlfriend react to these comments? I mean, does she respond in the same way, or is she keeping her distance? Is there a one-sided effort, or is there still a mutual habit ongoing? This seems important too.

tersminder

Is he communicating with his ex? How did that relationship end? Was it a fight or a situation like "we broke up amicably"? Because the way it ended affects the level of this comfort. If it's really over, why is there still such a bond? Has it truly ended?

biaraokurum

Is there a special code or implication among those comments? You know, some people don’t write openly, just things that only the two of them know. If that's the case, I’d say take it a bit more seriously.

yorgunpersembe

You need to understand whether these comments are an open "emotional relief" space with the ex or if it's really just an ordinary interaction within the social circle. In other words, does this person show that much interest to everyone around? Or is there a special energy reserved for the ex? Without distinguishing between the two, you can't make a clear statement.

komsuyagittim

If comments are being made on an ex's posts, it means there’s still some level of following involved. It's not just a comment; it’s actually a matter of continuity. Has this person fully moved on in their mind, or is there a feeling of wanting to keep some sort of "contact"? Because ending a relationship only physically isn't enough.

tozbezi

It seems to me a bit like a "keeping on standby" possibility. Does your ex have someone in their life, for example? Or are these comments aiming to elicit a response? But if your attention has been drawn this much, it definitely doesn't seem like an ordinary habit.

ortayakarisik3

Commenting on an ex may be a way to "remind them of your existence," but is this behavior exclusive to the ex? Does he interact this way with everyone on social media? Or does he have a somewhat "special" and different approach to the ex? It's hard to say without clarifying this.

pencereonu

Let me ask, does he comment on his ex's posts in front of you, or is this a completely private matter for him? Because if he openly does it, it could mean he doesn't care, like a "look what I'm doing" attitude. But if it's kept secret, there might be another inner world going on.