My girlfriend has been staying at home for the last two weeks, but she hasn’t introduced me to her mother or talked about our situation. She hasn’t said anything to me either, and she literally doesn’t even look at me. Honestly, it feels a bit strange; do you think there is a problem here?
this is a bit too strange
How did you convince them to stay in the same house? Does your mother know about the situation?
@yazipsildim my mom already knows the situation, she just doesn’t talk to my boyfriend.
I had the same thing happen, my girlfriend was keeping her distance from my mom. The reason she explained for her hesitation was “respect,” but then things didn’t get serious.
this isn’t respect, I think you’re hiding something. who stays silent like that?
It seems like an excuse to hesitate to me, but for me, it was the opposite; she was being sweet to my mom. Everyone is different, of course, but this silence feels very disconnected.
In general, in such situations, either serious timidity or a conscious distancing happens. It won’t get resolved without asking the reason clearly. You could say that you’re taking your time with the communication style with your mother and take a chance to talk.
Isn’t it a bit strange that he continues to stay there without talking to Anne? I mean, if he’s hesitant, why is he spending so much time there? Or is there something else going on in the background?
So what does the other one say about this situation? I mean, does she also find this silence acceptable? If she finds it strange, maybe she feels something that she thinks about but doesn’t share.
Have you ever talked about the tension with your mother? Maybe the problem isn’t with your partner, but your mom might be keeping her distance too. The silence from both sides seems to be feeding into each other.
Is your mother quiet around her, but otherwise quite talkative and normal in other settings? Because that changing silence depending on the environment feels a bit tactical to me. If it’s like this in every situation, then there might be something else going on, like related to personality or something.
Maybe you’re testing your mother’s reaction? You know how some people deliberately keep their distance to see how the other person evaluates them. Your mother’s attitude towards this situation is important; she might be observing how you handle it completely.
Is your girlfriend this quiet even when she’s alone with you? Some people prefer not to talk when there’s a third person around, as they can relax when they’re alone. If that’s the case, then there might be a deeper hesitation or problem.
Maybe you’re over-analyzing your mom’s behavior? I mean, if your girlfriend is quiet but your mom hasn’t shown any signs of trouble, the tension might be escalating in your mind. Or did your mom say something negative to her before?
How clear is the mother’s expectation for conversation? I mean, does your partner’s attitude continue based on the mother’s passive acceptance, or is there a dynamic where the mother is expected to speak while your partner stays silent? Because sometimes, if neither side takes responsibility in communication, these kinds of silences can become permanent.
Is everything revolving around your mother and your girlfriend, or have you tried to intervene and start conversations? If both of them are just doing their own thing and you’re saying “I shouldn’t interfere,” then this dynamic will go on like this forever. Maybe sometimes you need to be a bridge?
Maybe your partner got upset or felt shy about something related to your mom but isn’t telling you? Some people can’t express these things directly; they tend to go silent at first. Could there have been something that happened between your mom and them in the past?
Maybe your partner feels too much formality next to your mother, and it restricts them? Some people, especially when talking to authority figures like “the family elder”, try to be overly careful, which is why they might prefer to remain silent. For instance, what kind of energy did your mother give off when you first met her? Was she warm or a bit distant?