Guys, I’m going to ask something. My partner wants me to show him every photo I post on social media first. At first, I thought he was just jealous, but now it feels more like a control issue. Do you think this is normal, or am I in a toxic situation? What should I do?
I experienced something very similar too. My ex used to meddle in every post of mine; at first, I liked the jealousy, but then it got out of control. They even started to interfere with my clothing choices. Over time, I realized that this wasn’t jealousy but a kind of control. I spoke openly about it in the end, they tried to fix it but it was in vain. I hope things go differently for you.
I think you should address the situation clearly and calmly first. Ask a question like, 'Are you jealous or do you have a trust issue?' and see their reaction. If they say something like, 'You need to approve of me first,' then that strays into control issues. At that point, you could even suggest talking to a therapist. The way to understand the severity of the situation is through a calm conversation.
Let me be clear now, could it be that you've gotten used to constantly asking for his permission? I mean, maybe you started showing it first and he just thought it was normal. Some people get accustomed to these things quickly. Instead of asking for permission, you should have established a clear stance from the beginning by saying, 'I'm sharing this photo, just so you know.'
It's hard to directly call it a toxic relationship, but it can be a situation where healthy boundaries are violated. Partners need to know which areas are private and who has authority over them. In a healthy relationship, individuality is preserved. You might consider consulting a couples therapist to evaluate your relationship dynamics.
Thank you everyone for the answers. Let me add a small detail; I noticed this because it asked me to delete old photos from my phone. It says, 'These are unnecessary,' but those photos are my memories. So far, I've said 'okay, I will delete them,' but it doesn't sit right with me. Can we consider this being controlling as well?
I think the key point is your feelings. Since you feel uncomfortable, it means something is already going wrong. The issue of deleting photos also strengthens this. Will they always do this, or will they stop after a while? If this spills over into other areas in the future, like your job or your friend circle, what will your reaction be? It's important to establish clear boundaries right away.
