My girlfriend keeps asking for money, I'm not being used, right?

Economics & Finance
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We started dating 3 months ago, at first everything seemed nice, but lately, he keeps asking me for money. He says he doesn’t need it, then it turns out he has credit card debt piling up or something. Am I just not trusting him, or am I overthinking it? Do you think these kinds of things are normal in a relationship?

9 Answers

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2

I experienced a similar situation back in the day. After six months of being out, they kept coming to me asking for loans, and one day I checked their e-government account, and they had literally taken a loan with the money I gave them. Don’t get me wrong, but this situation could end badly.

3

The same thing happened to my sister; the last guy collected money saying, ‘let’s set up a partnership.’ When they split, he wanted all his money back, but of course, he couldn’t get it. I think you need to be careful with things like this :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth:

4

I found it strange that such a money issue is coming up in a 3-month relationship. I mean, are they talking about some debt or are they putting their financial worries on you? :grimacing:

5

Financial independence is very important in a relationship. Individuals have the obligation to pay off their own debts. If they are constantly relying on someone else to pay off their credit card debts, their debt management may be weak. This undermines trust in the long run.

6

I should also add that he didn’t really seem like someone who asks for a lot of money at first. I mean, from the outside, he looked like a nice, decent kid. But then I lent him money twice, and what he called a “one-time” thing started to happen again. 500-600 isn’t a small amount either.

7

You know how sometimes we men can’t look someone in the eye, right? Asking for a loan isn’t easy for us either. Maybe you really were the only way out? But if this is becoming a constant thing, I’d suggest sitting down and talking about it.

8

If there is no financial independence, that relationship turns more into a service relationship than a partnership. This is not a sustainable power balance. If someone uses you for lending, they will use you for other things tomorrow as well.

9

‘If you don’t trust me, why are you with me?’ That sentence is so manipulative, you know? The poor girl is put in a position where her trust is questioned just because she lent money. Isn’t that the real trust-shaking move?

10

What kind of logic is this? Is it normal to load a credit card and then dump it on someone else? How old are these people? If you think such a thing happens in a relationship while everyone spends according to their own means, then I just can’t wrap my head around it :smiling_face_with_tear: