I’ve been with my girlfriend for 6 months. She’s a really good person, and I trust her, but something is bothering me. She keeps liking photos of girls she talked to before or knew before me on Instagram. Is it a problem to say something about this, or is it just jealousy? Would you get involved if you were in my place?
6 Answers
6It happened to me, and it’s just a really weird and uncomfortable situation. My ex used to constantly like posts from her old flings; when I asked her about it, she said it was a “habit.” But it felt really disrespectful to me. I think you should talk it out and set clear boundaries because, at the end of the day, it’s bothering you.
I experienced the same thing; I spoke directly at that time. I said, ‘It’s bothering me.’ At first, she said, ‘You’re exaggerating,’ but then she realized I was serious; she had unfollowed those girls. I think it’s necessary to speak openly because the situation is already psychologically draining.
Let me tell you something, you might be reacting a bit too emotionally. After all, you said that those girls already knew each other before me. It might be a completely innocent situation. Instead of jumping in, ask yourself, ‘Is there really a problem here?’
Such situations encroach on the private spaces of relationships. The feeling of discomfort can be perceived as a violation of relational boundaries. Don’t keep it inside; share it using healthy communication. Express your discomfort to your partner without being overly judgmental and explain the reasons behind it. Emphasize that this is not a restriction of freedom, but rather an emotional need.
Let me add something: Actually, I tried to open up a bit. I said, ‘It seems weird that you still like these girls.’ But she said, ‘I’m always like this, I’m not even following most of them.’ It’s these kinds of things that leave me torn between figuring it out and not 
It’s a strange situation. Especially the defense of ‘I’ve always been like this’ seems a bit evasive to me. Maybe they’re not doing it intentionally, but I’m not sure if it’s due to old habits or their interest. I think they should observe a bit more; maybe they have truly left the past behind, or maybe they haven’t.