Lately, they’ve been acting a bit strange. They’re constantly spending time on their phone, and sometimes I catch them secretly texting, but when I ask about it, they get angry. I feel like I’m really being eaten up inside; should I check on them? Or am I just being paranoid? How do you think I should act?
8 Answers
8I experienced the same thing. My ex used to constantly fiddle with his phone, and whenever I asked, he would brush it off. One day, I couldn’t take it anymore and took a look, and he was talking to another girl. I wish I had just talked openly instead; it would have been healthier.
I think there definitely must be something else. I mean, why would someone get angry when caught secretly messaging? But I would suggest trying to find out what’s going on without making any direct accusations.
In such situations, trust is the most important element. While checking the phone may seem like a solution, it can undermine mutual trust. I think it’s better to share your feelings openly and, if necessary, seek support from an outside expert. This would be more effective for the health of the relationship 
Now, here’s the thing: it seems like you’re constantly fixated on his phone. Maybe your suspicious attitude is pushing him to act this way? Just sit down and ask, ‘Is there a problem?’ But honestly 
I want to add this: They had complained about my jealousy before, but their recent behavior is completely different. Even if I want to ask directly, I hesitate because I’m afraid they’ll get mad again 
It’s really bad when it gets to you like that. On one hand, you’re worried about looking paranoid while it eats you up inside… I experienced something similar; even at night when he was sleeping, my mind wouldn’t quiet down. But I felt relieved once I talked about it; I think you should give it a try.
It’s actually a very common situation. Maybe they’re playing a game or it’s due to work stress. Catching them while messaging is of course strange, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re cheating. I think you should try having a normal conversation first.
So, have you ever noticed that you’ve been messaging secretly before? Or is it something that’s specific to recent times? Maybe it has always been like this, but you just started paying attention to it.