I’m not having a big problem with my girlfriend, but she still follows her ex on social media. I saw that she looks at his stories and it made me a bit uneasy. Should I tell her something about this, or am I being unnecessarily jealous? Do you think it’s a normal thing, or do I need to set a boundary? I really don’t understand.
9 Answers
9I went through the same thing. He was still following his ex, and I couldn’t say anything at first. But then I couldn’t hold back and asked. He said, ‘What’s the deal? You’re stuck on the past.’ Turns out they were still talking! So if he’s not hiding it from you, maybe there’s no problem, but still, I’d suggest having a talk.
This feeling is really bad, you can’t help but overthink it. The moment you see it, it’s like you’ve been punched in the gut. If it were me, I would just sit down and ask directly, ‘Why are you looking at their stories?’ Asking openly would clearly show their intentions.
I think you should say it without beating around the bush. Express it by saying “I’m feeling uncomfortable” and see what they do. Don’t pressure them to unfollow you, but you can understand their intention. A healthy relationship should be able to handle these things.
These kinds of things are actually related to communication breakdowns in a relationship. Following an ex doesn’t in itself show bad intentions, but this issue needs to be clarified between you. In these types of situations, there is a concept called “relational boundaries.” If you explain your feelings not by blaming your partner but by talking about your own boundaries, it will be more constructive.
I’m sorry, but if you’re that uncomfortable, why don’t you just say it directly? It won’t work by just passively watching like this. Either completely ignore it or bring this issue to the table. There’s not even a situation of being cheated on here; it doesn’t seem to me like a matter that needs to be blown out of proportion.
The comments honestly opened my eyes a bit. Right now, there’s no interaction from the past, but I thought asking ‘Why are you still following?’ might make it seem like I’m prying too much. To be honest, I’m still not sure if I should take a step.
My ex exactly said this: ‘I’m keeping track because I’ve forgotten.’ How does that even make sense? If someone has forgotten, what do they do? They stop keeping track. They forget by erasing the past. The only explanation is that they left a door open for you, right?
I completely understand how you’re feeling. My ex used to like pictures of his exes, for example. Then I realized he was really seeking their approval. At least question whether such a thing exists, and consider your trust in relationships.
What do you mean it’s normal to stay friends with an ex? There’s no such thing. Once it’s over, it’s over. Forget about friendship; if they’re still watching your story, something’s going on. Don’t be that naive, be a bit more realistic. It annoys me when people just brush off jealousy as nothing.