Last week at the family dinner, my aunt asked about my boyfriend's salary. When I heard that, I was totally frozen. I had never shared such things with my family, and I don't understand why they are so curious. What do you think I should react in this situation? How can I set boundaries for such questions?
my aunt was doing the same thing, she would constantly try to learn details about my girlfriend. I recently said, 'I won't expose my private life, let's change the subject,' and she fell silent. I think a clear boundary needs to be established.
in our families, such things are normal. if your partner is asking about your salary, they're probably curious about whether it's good or bad. brush it off in a way that isn't awkward 😅
@kahvebitmeden this is not normal, and his curiosity doesn't justify it either. Why does it concern the salary? Not everyone needs to know everything.
I think you should just say, 'These kinds of matters are between my girlfriend and me,' it would be polite and straightforward. No need to beat around the bush.
So does your mom ever intervene, does she say to your aunt, "don’t ask such things"? Or do they take it normally?
@pazardandondum my mom knows it too, but she stayed silent as well. Questions like this always come up in the family, but this is the first time I'm hearing something this ridiculous 🙄
@hatconene yes, you're right, but they might be afraid it could cause bigger problems within the family. I think we need to consider that as well.
They will definitely get involved, you need to be clear about your stance.
Is your aunt only interested in your boyfriend's salary, or is she poking her nose into other details as well? If the salary issue is just an excuse, she might be preparing for a bigger gossip. Be careful.
Aunties tend to act according to their status; some just keep an eye out, while others stir the pot. If yours isn't just about the salary, pay close attention to what they're questioning; you can derive their intentions from there. Does it extend to your girlfriend's family, for instance? Gossip usually comes back from those places.
