I started working at a new company, things are good, the salary is nice, but the female manager keeps saying suggestive things. If I arrive late, she says things like, ‘That’s how young people are,’ or when I’m talkative in the office, she says, ‘It would be more beneficial if you channeled that energy into work.’ Would going to HR be a big deal? Or should I just ignore it?
These kinds of things happen a lot, especially the subtle implications you’re talking about. An example from my old job: My boss used to do similar things, but not out of any serious malice; he was always acting like a “big sister.” Maybe he sees himself as someone who guides the “young folks,” so don’t always assume there are bad intentions.
Come on, buddy, isn’t there an HR aspect to this issue? You’re still in the early stages, and the manager isn’t directly confronting you. Shouldn’t you show a little patience instead of running straight to complaints? If you go to HR for everything, you’ll really look bad.
What you just said is actually a passive-aggressive style. Some managers do this unconsciously, but if it happens repeatedly, it can be a form of power display. If it affects you a lot, the priority in such situations is to have a one-on-one conversation. If you gently say, ‘These kinds of comments sometimes make me uncomfortable, just so you know,’ you’ll gauge their reaction. At least it would be a first step before going to HR.
Let me add this: Actually, things aren’t bad between us, they normally act friendly, but when they say things like that, I feel uneasy. It’s not direct hostility, but it creates discomfort.
Let me put it this way, talking like “sister” and “guiding the youth” are just excuses. They might constantly try to belittle your effort and presence at work. Show that you are uncomfortable; we don’t know if they are aware, but if you keep ignoring this, they’ll always push your boundaries. Don’t allow it.