Lately, my family has started pressuring me to get married. It feels too early for me, but they keep bringing it up. What can I say to them? I still feel like Iām not ready.
I know pressure well. When I was 28, my mother was wandering around the house saying āwhereās the grandchild?ā Still, I got tired of explaining until the age I got married. Just keep talking calmly, they donāt give up, but they get tired.
How old are you and do you live with your family financially? Some pressures are directly related to this, after all.
@yazipsildim Iām 26 years old. Iām still with my family because I couldnāt move due to work. But I have my economic independence.
@bugun_degil the part about not giving up is wrong. I have a friend who resisted until he was 39 and still listens to the same chats. Peopleās patience can really be endless.
Although Ailen respects your decisions, sometimes they see expressing their concerns as a right. It might be helpful to show that your decisions are clear without turning to discussion on the topics. However, you should also consider the idea of moving, as distance can sometimes be effective.
I guess this topic will never change.
Honestly, it seems like parents are written about unfairly in this title, but when I put myself in their shoes, I can also understand the fear of loneliness. Itās hard to find a middle ground.
@soncaykaldi I donāt think distance is the solution. Youād be waiting for a call to ask, and when you do ask, the conversation ends up there again. Itās hard to change the family structure.
If the pressure is upsetting, youāll need to set distance either by talking or physically; thereās no other way.
Families generally view the matter of marriage as their own āsuccess stories.ā They are after gaining social standing through you, not considering the individual. For instance, if you were to reasonably say, āI am happy this way,ā do they take it seriously? Or do they pretend to listen and just revert back to the same refrain?