My boyfriend said I'll be cool if I lose weight

I can't be sure if this is a joke, but if it's serious, I think it goes like this: if you gain weight, you'll feel overly confident, you'll care about other people, and you won't pay attention to me. This kind of complex connects to a dark place. Be careful, I think 😂

Has he made such a comment for the first time? Has he said anything else before about your physical appearance? 🫢

@soncaykaldi actually not the first... they had said something like 'there's a beautiful woman who dresses very well at our workplace, if you dressed like that we would stand out in society' before 🤦‍♀️

@aklimkaldi has compared with another woman. I don't think that's normal, there might be intentions of checking up little by little in the future. If you're not at ease, talk openly or set some distance during the process.

Honestly, it seemed a bit strange to me. On one hand, he gave an example about the woman at work, and on the other hand, he said, 'you'll be cooler than me.' It's hard to tell what's a joke and what's serious. So in this level of uncertainty, why are you looking for support?

It's clear that you've decided not to pursue that guy just by the way you explained the topic. You're just continuing with this mindset.

Statements that appear condescending or controlling while being delivered in a joking manner can fall into the realm of "gaslighting." If the diet was your decision, I suggest expressing how it made you feel in a safe environment. However, if the situation escalates, you might consider seeking support such as couple's therapy.

I think she's jealous of you. She probably thinks that when you lose weight, you'll be more eye-catching and has gone a bit paranoid 🤦‍♀️

@kirmizikazak I don't think it's jealousy. I believe it's more about low self-confidence; guys like that make snarky remarks. That's the vibe I get.