As you know, I’m not really interacting much with my boyfriend’s circle, but recently one of his friends sent me a request on social media. I mean, what’s the point? If there were something, I’d say it directly, but this situation honestly made me a bit uncomfortable. Do you think it’s normal to ignore it, or should I say something?
6 Answers
6I went through the same thing, a friend of my girlfriend was messaging me occasionally, but at first, I couldn’t make sense of it. I thought it was normal or whatever, but then I noticed the kid was getting a bit too bold. I told my girlfriend, and I said she needed to put a stop to it immediately, even if it wasn’t a bad thing, it was unnecessary.
The real issue here is not your friend’s intent but the violation of your boundaries. When connecting with someone in a relationship, feeling compelled to engage with everyone around them feels very unhealthy to me. These types of behaviors are often normalized under the guise of ‘comfort,’ but if it doesn’t feel right for you, it’s your right to be clear about it.
I think you should close the topic with a message. Decline the request and also kindly tell your boyfriend, ‘A friend sent a request, maybe they don’t really mean anything by it, but I’m not comfortable with it.’ This way, you won’t be misunderstood, and the topic won’t escalate. 
Feeling uncomfortable in such situations is important because it usually starts with small details. If you ignore this behavior, people may struggle to understand your boundaries. Don’t carry the emotional burden; speak directly to your partner and ask them to set clear boundaries with that friend.
Actually, this is quite common. The child might have wanted to get to know you better, or maybe it was just out of curiosity. Instead of putting a negative interpretation on it, you can look at it in a normal way. I can say it didn’t seem strange to me.
Let me update you: I told my boyfriend, and he said, ‘He doesn’t get along with anyone, he’s a laid-back guy.’ But when I mentioned my discomfort, he said, ‘These are just trivial things.’ Honestly, it makes me feel even weirder.