He claims to love me so much, yet he still follows his ex on social media. When I noticed this, I asked him about it, and he said, ‘It was in the past, we broke up, it’s over.’ But to be honest, I don’t feel very comfortable with it. What do you think I should do in this situation? Is it just jealousy or could there really be something wrong?
15 Answers
15If you ask me, it’s not nice to keep track of things. If the past is in the past, it shouldn’t matter anymore. I told my girlfriend directly, ‘I’m uncomfortable, please take it down.’ And she did. Clearly, your girlfriend thinks a bit differently.
I mean, I don’t know, this social media thing has already become complicated on its own. Many people around me are deleting their old follows. You wouldn’t want to see and remember it all orderly, right? I think you should express your discomfort clearly; if they don’t understand, that’s another issue.
But now look, not everyone has a bad breakup with their ex. Maybe the guy sees them as a friend now? I think he should talk more openly instead of questioning intentions directly. Otherwise, it’s hard to live always in suspicion.
Defining your boundaries in relationships varies from person to person, but the main issue is to clearly express what bothers you. If your partner downplays this situation, it could actually be a communication problem, beyond just their connection with an ex. Don’t wait too long to have discussions about ‘boundaries’ in your relationship.
Let me add that, apart from having to deal with the past, we’re not really facing many issues. But there’s that fear of whether those things from the past will come back to haunt me at certain moments. How can I be sure that it’s all completely behind us? 
Well, in this case, a bit of your self-confidence is also coming into play. If the guy says ‘it’s in the past’, maybe that’s how it is. Instead of pushing on that, you could focus on the connection and love between you. But if you’re still feeling uneasy inside, keep talking.
He needs to show commitment to you. This is more about the dynamics of the relationship than your jealousy. You set the boundaries. If he doesn’t take action after you’ve expressed that you’re uncomfortable, it may indicate a lack of mutual effort.
I’m going to ask something, how often does he interact with his ex? I mean, are there things like likes, comments, or looking at stories? Or were you just bothered because he is still on the list?
I mean, is it really something that needs to be blown out of proportion? Doesn’t the relationship questioning over a social media list seem a bit exaggerated to you? Plus, a lot of people here immediately said ‘delete it, or there’s no love,’ but is it really that simple?
If I were in that position, I would ask it directly in a clear sentence instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the real point to focus on is how they go on the defensive or turn the topic around when responding. 
If I were in that position, I would have asked it directly with a clear sentence instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the real point to consider is when they go on the defensive while answering or change the subject to you 
If I were in that position, I would ask it clearly instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the real focus should be on their tendency to get defensive or shift the topic while answering 
If I were him, I would ask this with a clear sentence instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the real thing to look at is when he goes on the defensive or tries to turn the topic to you while answering
If I were you, I would ask this directly with a clear sentence instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the real point to look at is if they get defensive or turn the conversation back to you while answering.
If I were in that position, I would ask it directly with a clear sentence instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the main point to consider is if they get defensive or shift the topic back to you while answering