Girls, Iām really confused. Iām 29 years old, and right now I want to focus on my career, but my family keeps making hints about marriage. Every family gathering, they tell me, āCome on, youāre getting older.ā Honestly, I donāt want to get married, but it feels like if I give in to this pressure and make a decision, I would regret it so much. What should I do? Is there anyone who feels this way?
Honestly, my family has always pressured me like this too, Iām 28. Especially my mom was always bringing up the conversation about āam I going to see grandchildren.ā But one day I said openly, āIām not thinking about marriage,ā they were upset at first but then they accepted it. I think you need to express your feelings clearly once; when they pull you in different directions, they push harder.
I was in a similar situation; I was focused on my career and marriage wasnāt on my mind at all. But my mom kept pressuring me, saying, āYouāre going to be lonely.ā Once, I snapped at my uncleās place and said, āItās my life; if Iām unhappy, are you going to save me?ā That day, they were silent. Sometimes, if you donāt react, they donāt understand.
I donāt know, but I donāt understand why this pressure from families bothers you so much. After all, they arenāt thinking of anything bad; theyāre marrying you off to make you happy. They think about your age and all that; it doesnāt just come out of nowhere. Moreover, 29 isnāt that young after all. I think you should approach it a bit more rationally; donāt just assume something bad will happen.
Situations of this kind of family pressure are actually very common in society. From a psychological perspective, feeling caught between oneās own choices and the expectations of family can increase stress and anxiety. Generally, learning techniques to express your boundaries in communication can be beneficial. For example, using phrases like āI donāt want to talk about this right nowā can help demonstrate your stance clearly and calmly. Of course, working with a therapist can also aid in managing the process.
Iām actually not someone who tends to beat around the bush, but when it comes to family, you donāt want to hurt anyone. My mom is especially a very sensitive woman; she pouts right away and so on. Thatās why Iām thinking if I could find a softer way. Otherwise, I have no doubt, I donāt want marriage.
So, is there a chance that your parents actually want to introduce you to someone but canāt bring themselves to say it directly? These ācome on, just get married alreadyā comments remind me a bit of indirect communication. Take a look around, is there someone constantly being talked about in the family or something?
But you must be overlooking something; in such situations, the goal is not polygamy, but rather the concern of not being left alone. For example, they are thinking about the future, and there is a desire to see you safe. However, if you show them that you can provide that assurance in another way, maybe the pressure will lessen. Itās not actually about direct marriage.