My girlfriend celebrated her ex-boyfriend’s birthday on Facebook the other night. She actually wrote a very formal message, nothing overly affectionate, but it still bothered me. I asked her about it yesterday, and she said, “What’s the big deal? Those old chapters are closed now.” But I had a few doubts from the flirting phase in the past, so I guess I can’t relax. Do you think this is normal? Or am I blowing this out of proportion?
9 Answers
9my ex also celebrated his new girlfriend’s birthday. Moreover, he wrote something like “to many beautiful years”. And then, as you know, we broke up; trust was already gone. So if I were you, I wouldn’t let my guard down 
So has she done something like this before? I mean, what were the doubts during the flirting period about? Is it similar to this situation?
@cokdaseyapma it wasn’t exactly a celebration, but there was a comment he made on a WhatsApp photo back then. Short but still irritating.
@makarnaoncesi but that feels a bit like over-comparison. Not everything happens the same way in every relationship. Maybe the guy really has no intention 
If you’re this stuck on it, it would be healthier to resolve it through communication. If there have been trust issues in the past, you can have a more detailed conversation. But if this has only happened once, you can try to stay calm. We don’t want mistrust to become chronic.
The title seems very general. I think such things vary depending on the person and their background. It doesn’t seem like an equal discussion either.
trust is everything 
@kahvebitmeden you’re right, but this is also important: the guy isn’t making a retrospective statement. So we need to ask ‘why did I celebrate’ in a bit more detail
I don’t think it’s a big deal. Just fiddling with it too much can make the problem worse. But if it happens again, it could really become an issue.