We’ve been messaging for 3-4 months, our conversations are quite enjoyable, but they never bring up meeting in person. Honestly, my patience is wearing thin. If we want a relationship, we should meet and it needs to be something serious, but I’m also afraid they might just be passing the time. On one hand, I’m considering whether I should propose the first meeting, but on the other hand, I can’t bring myself to do it because of my pride. What do you think is right, to wait or to take action?
I think this is a pretty clear sign. It’s been 3-4 months, and if they still don’t want to see you, they either don’t take you seriously or are really dragging out the flirting. It happened to me; I suggested a meetup, and after their excuse, we just stopped talking. I think if you take a step, you’ll see more clearly what’s going on.
I’m saying this from a guy’s perspective: sometimes it’s not just an excuse of being busy; it can be serious. But to be honest, if he’s interested, he’ll find time even amidst work. If he hasn’t invited you for a coffee so far, he might be indecisive or could have other plans. Let’s push him a bit and see how he reacts.
I once heard a therapist talking about a similar situation regarding communication in relationships. The fact that the other person does not actively suggest meeting could be more about avoiding responsibility or expectations than a lack of interest. However, you shouldn’t have to act on their behalf to clarify this. If you are serious and don’t want to waste time, you should directly ask about their intentions.
I’ve actually tried to bring this up before. He said something like, ‘I’m really busy these days, we can sort it out sometime.’ But he said it so casually, as if there’s no rush at all. That’s why I’m not sure if I should make a move. What if he keeps brushing it off like this?
What kind of logic is this? Someone who claims to be too busy to drink even a coffee for 4 months is either messing with you or is overly obsessed like everyone else. They haven’t made an offer and are citing work intensity. So why are they messaging? No one here is giving serious answers to any questions.
I suggest you be direct and clear. Ask him plainly, ‘I want to meet you, is there a convenient time?’ If he still responds evasively, don’t waste your time with this guy. I don’t think someone who can’t even give a clear answer will be able to establish a serious connection with you.
I’m going to ask you something, hasn’t he planned anything other than meetings in the last 3-4 months? For example, hasn’t he even suggested a video chat? If it’s just a flirty text exchange, it might be more like a virtual relationship.
There’s something else going on here. Be careful, they might be meeting with someone else as well. It seems to me like they’re trying to buy time by saying, ‘I’m busy.’ Keep an eye on it a bit longer, and if you chase down clues about who they’re meeting with, things will become clearer.