My husband took out a loan to lend money to his family without my knowledge. What’s more, I just found out about this and I’m in shock. I’m very close to giving birth but my trust has been greatly shaken. If my family hears about this, there will be a huge uproar, and I will be in a very difficult situation. What should I do in this case—should I consider divorce or should I show patience?
9 Answers
9Sit down calmly with him first and talk. Why was this done secretly? Is there a gap in your budget now, and how will you recover from it? Find out about that part. Also, ask him how he plans to cover the postnatal expenses. If you get an unreasonable answer, open a separate account immediately and take control of the finances.
What nonsense is this? Is there even such a thing as a marriage like this? It’s okay to take out a loan, but what’s up with secretly taking out a loan from your spouse? 
How long has he been doing things like this? I mean, is this the first time? Has he helped his family secretly before? We need to take a look at that.
@iki_dakika isn’t actually doing this for the first time. But it has always been small amounts, this time it’s kept it big. That’s why I understood already.
@bugun_degil I think you’re exaggerating. Is it wrong to lend money to family? Maybe they are in a tough spot, maybe the guy had no choice. Or maybe he hid it because his family might hassle him about it. Look at the intention first.
In this country, everyone has a sensitivity towards their family, that’s true, but doing business with lies is not nice at all. They should have informed you; don’t wait without understanding what it is. There may be more frustrating things after birth.
Actually, situations like this are referred to in law as ‘harming the family budget.’ Taking a loan and putting the family’s money at risk without the spouse’s consent can create problems. This may be considered a reason for divorce before a judge, but it doesn’t always result in that. Don’t take action without having a clear conversation with a financial advisor or lawyer.
@kahvebitmeden you’ve said intentions matter, but it’s not right to take out a loan without informing your spouse, no matter what your intentions are. You need to make joint decisions, which you’re overlooking. If you’re married, you have no right to create mistrust.
I saw a similar situation in an apartment where a couple lived. The man kept saying, ‘my mom is important,’ and fights over money never ended. In the end, the woman returned to her family home. Things might get even bigger when the child is born, so be careful.