My partner and I are together with mutual consent, but each time afterwards, I feel a sense of guilt. It seems like I am doing something wrong, and I can't shake off this feeling. Could it be a result of the strict values instilled by my family at a young age? Or is it due to something else? Is there anyone else who feels this way?
I think guilt is a cultural thing. When you grow up with a lot of "you shouldn't do that, it's disgraceful" messages, your subconscious gets affected. But if you love and respect each other with your partner, there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe this feeling will lessen over time; don't wear yourself out too much.
What kind of logic is this? Does saying 'We love you' mean that you are doing everything right? Maybe your friend really doesn't feel ready or is secretly uncomfortable; it's not easy to lighten that feeling.
The source of the guilt in your subconscious is often the rules learned in childhood. This means it can be related to family pressure or the value judgments around you. Psychologically, this is very common, but if you feel stuck, I recommend seeking support from a professional. It's important to feel good about your privacy.
Let me update: My partner says, "If I had known you felt this bad, we wouldn't have done it." But I have no problem with them, it’s just that the feeling inside me isn’t going away. So there doesn’t seem to be a problem on the outside, but if I keep feeling this way, it might affect our relationship 😳
Clearly, your partner is quite understanding, but you keep piling on the pressure on yourself. Now I don't get it, do you want this relationship or not? If you do, why doesn't this guilt go away? 🤷♀️
From a man's perspective, he's probably trying to help you cope with these feelings, but in the end, he might be confused as well. Because you say, "we did it with our consent," yet you still feel guilty. Perhaps you need to clarify your expectations with a bit more open communication.
