Last week, I had my first relationship with someone. To be honest, I felt a bit of pain, but I would say I was more scared. Everything happened really fast; I think I was a little unprepared. Do you think it's normal to feel this anxious? Should I go back and talk about it, or should I just forget and move on?
I experienced the same thing on my first time too. I was pretty tense and felt pain as well. Later, I realized it was entirely due to being unprepared. If someone isn’t talking openly with you, it just makes things even harder 🙂
You seem to be acting a bit strangely. You’re scared and have felt pain, but why do you feel the need to go back and talk? If it didn’t do you any good, maybe it’s better to just move on directly 😅
Feeling anxious and scared are common experiences for first-timers in this kind of situation. However, starting such activities with someone you can feel physically and emotionally comfortable with is healthier in the long run. It's important to talk with your partner, but especially if you felt you couldn't communicate your boundaries clearly and express that you weren’t ready, you might have experienced feelings of insecurity.
I think I should speak openly, but I don't know how he will take it. Everything happened a bit suddenly, and I've been alone for a long time, so maybe I'm loading too much meaning onto it. He’s acting cold towards me now, and honestly, that's what's bothering me.
You should question the other party's intentions a bit here. If they are acting coldly now, maybe they are only thinking of you for a brief moment, not for something long-term. Have they acted this way from the beginning, or did it change later?
So the real issue here is the possibility that your boundaries have been violated. Yes, there may be anxiety because it’s the first time, but experiencing something 'quickly' when you’re not ready is a serious problem. This isn’t a lack of communication; it’s a direct power imbalance.
I think you should first sit down calmly and write down what you're feeling. Then, talk to them about it directly and clearly. If they don't give you reassurance or make you feel anxious again, it might be more sensible to completely cut ties with that person 🤭
There's always this perception on social media that "the first time goes smoothly," but I don't think that's true at all. What's important is how you feel about talking to those people. I think you should just call and ask straightforwardly, "What was your intention?" If they’re not into it, don’t hold on. What happens if one person fewer is in a crowd? 🤭
