I met with my boss last week to discuss a raise. But it was really strange; he literally laughed with a condescending expression when he heard my salary request. He made statements implying that he thinks I'm inadequate. Honestly, it hurt me a lot, but I don't know how to bring the subject up again. Do you think I should defend myself, or should I look for another job?
Honestly, a similar situation happened to me too. When I asked for a raise, the guy said something like "You still haven't learned this job properly." I was already stressed out at work, so I immediately started looking for a new job. But I kept quiet until I found a new one, otherwise, I would have regretted it.
But my daughter, if you were my daughter, I would say your worth can't be shown by your boss's attitude. You put forth a performance good enough to hit that condescension right in the face, and then either they recognize your value or cut ties and leave. But whatever you do, don't act out of anger 🙄
Can I ask you something? Is it specific to you, or does this guy usually treat people like this? Because there are some managers who generally don’t let anyone get under their skin, but if he disrespected you specifically, it seems like there might be another issue.
In salary negotiations, the real issue is not the emotions that surface, but what you say and the demands you make. If you've presented a valid request clearly, that condescension may just be manipulation. It is usually meant to silence you. In such situations, staying calm and explaining once more why your request is reasonable can be effective.
Actually, let me add this; I really struggled to prove myself in that job. I mean, I know where I'm lacking, but being looked down on like that really hurt. I'm hesitant to talk again because I'm afraid if I see the same attitude, I'll be completely discouraged 😅
Did you ask directly for a raise in your salary meeting, or did you discuss your work and responsibilities first? For example, did you mention that your workload has increased or that your performance hasn't been recognized? These are generally critical points 🫣
Look, let me just say, maybe the amount you asked for seemed unreasonable to them at that moment. It’s important to evaluate this and look at it objectively. But jumping to think, 'they disrespected me' might also be a bit unfair, in my opinion. What position are you in, do you know the market conditions?
I think the way the boss laughs off a situation is honestly pride-damaging. In such a moment, I would probably resort to unnecessary defense, because that expression on their face creates anger inside a person. But managing such moments with patience in a work environment is really tough 😐
The boss at the café I work at once told me when I asked for a raise, 'Your lack of knowledge about the job creates extra work for me.' On one hand, he had a point, but at that moment I was really angry. I decided to keep working and improve myself. So, you have to make a choice: either say 'No, I'm right' and push back, or leave and look for a new opportunity.
