Patronum is generally a jokester, but lately, his jokes have started to feel more personal to me. Last time, after work, he touched my shoulder and said something just as everyone was dispersing. At that moment, I acted like it wasn’t a big deal, but when I got home, I felt uncomfortable. He is someone who is very well-liked at work, and I feel like if I oppose him, it will create a bad image for me. Do you think I should ignore this, or should I go to HR? What if I lose my job?
7 Answers
7I experienced something similar. At first, I didn’t think much of it; I thought it was a joke, but then it turned into constant shoulder touching, close talking, and so on. It literally continued because I didn’t intervene at that moment. I think if you’re uncomfortable, you should make it clear right away, talk about it. I understand the fear of losing your job, but if it continues like this, it could get worse.
So, is this the first time? Has he joked with you in a special way before?
@gamze00 I can actually say that it has increased quite a bit in the last few months. It used to joke with everyone, but now it behaves more focused on me. It’s not very obvious, but I can feel it.
@aysegul34 not everyone may have bad intentions. He already says he’s a humorous person. Isn’t it a bit much to look for bad intentions just because he touched someone once? I don’t know, it’s hard to understand what’s really going on without talking about the situation.
What’s important in this situation are your boundaries. If you feel uncomfortable and want it to stop, this should be clearly expressed. The HR department has a procedure in place for such situations at work. However, it’s usually more constructive to have a one-on-one conversation first. I suggest trying to speak directly with your boss instead of going to HR right away.
@melis_kararsiz come on, can you really downplay it by saying ‘it was just a touch’? Nobody can know that part, but if someone felt uncomfortable, it wouldn’t be right to suppress it 
If you were that uncomfortable, why didn’t you react at that moment? I think it’s more sensible to take a stand right away in those situations. When you go home and think about it, you tend to overthink things. If you had just said right then, “it would be better if you didn’t do that.”