My job interview with Patronum was quite tense. I’m questioning whether I can work in a healthy environment. There is pressure coming from outside; some of my friends are telling me to quit, but I love my job very much. I might still need support from my family during this process.
I think you’ve been stressing unnecessarily.
What exactly do you mean by outside pressures? Colleagues, friends, or family?
@kahvebitmeden my circle of friends, my family is also slowly getting involved. They have the mindset of ‘find a better place.’
I was working in a place I loved as much as you do. I couldn’t take it anymore; my mental health was deteriorating. Now I’m in a worse place, but I’m at peace.
You love your job so much, I think you shouldn’t pay attention to those who say “quit.” It would be ridiculous to resign because of environmental factors.
You can consult an expert regarding occupational health and safety. You say it’s an unhealthy environment, but that’s an abstract comment. Is there a concrete situation? For example, is there a lack of ventilation, excessive hours, etc.?
You said you were in a position to get support from your family, but I think you should be a little more patient until you find your own place.
@hatconene Does work have to be tolerated just because it’s enjoyable? Unhealthy work conditions, external pressures, etc. are enough reasons as it is.
You can actually fix the work environment. Given how tense you are with your boss, either you can’t communicate clearly, or there’s no possibility of a solution. It made me wonder if you’re considering taking a risk and looking elsewhere.
This kind of racing heart might indicate that you’re under a bit too much stress. Instead of making a big deal out of talking to your boss, have you tried clarifying what you want first and then going in? Or do you find yourself panicking during the conversation?
It’s not about escalating the conversation with the patron; the guy is already signaling you. It seems easy to put all the stress on you. During that conversation, think about his attitude as well; don’t just blame yourself.
But maybe the boss is expecting you to deal with stress? I mean, maybe this is like a test, a situation that assesses your reaction. I think their intention is important. Have you ever asked them directly to their face?
No boss is in a position to conduct psychological experiments by saying “deal with stress”, let alone any tests. They have to do their job properly and encourage their employees not to be so stressed. If they are not sharing responsibilities within reasonable limits, I would say look for other options by investigating around, because these kinds of attitudes won’t change.
If you’re responding so intensely to your boss’s behavior, either the workload is unbalanced or there is a serious communication problem. Can you give a direct example of what was said in that conversation that made you so tense? Because without clarifying the issue, there won’t be a solution.
If you’re feeling this tense when talking to your boss, maybe they’re trying to take something from you. If they’re subtly imposing something or putting you in a tricky position, just ask directly. These “signals” don’t help; clarify things.
Maybe the problem isn’t you, but their communication style? Not every boss can clearly communicate what they want to their employees. However, if you don’t understand what the issue is and you don’t ask, they won’t explain it at all. You need to manage communication with such individuals; be direct and ask: “What exactly do you expect from me?”
Asking your boss, “What exactly do you expect from me?” can make things even harder if the person you’re dealing with is really poor at communication. Because most of these types expect you to understand everything and then you end up playing the role of the mediator. I think the issue is how much pressure this person puts on you directly or indirectly and how much of that pressure you’re willing to tolerate. Work on that.
But what if part of the pressure doesn’t come from work, but rather from his desire to establish personal authority? In other words, if the issue has nothing to do with your performance or the work itself, could he be creating this tension just to assert a power balance? That’s why I think the tone is just as important as the content of the conversation.
Perhaps the issue is more about what he aims for than how you feel. Is the purpose of this tension really work-focused, or is it about asserting his position over you? Because if there is an attempt to dominate outside of work, you may need to manage your distance rather than engage in conversation.