I’ve been in a new job for a few months, but my boss’s behavior is really challenging for me. Whenever I take a break, look at my phone, or come back a few minutes late from lunch, he makes side comments or hints at things. He never says anything directly, so I can’t confront him about it. What do you think — how can I set boundaries in a situation like this, or does it make sense to do so? Or are these things just part of the job that you have to deal with?
Honestly, in situations like this, boundaries are important. Just because you’re the boss doesn’t mean you have the right to interfere in everything. For instance, the lunch break is your time to relax, so implying something because you came back late isn’t professional at all. I think you should try talking directly, just ask clearly, ‘Is there a problem with my work?’ If they feel pressured, they might correct it.
If I had a daughter, I would tell her to set her boss straight. Look, work is one thing, life is another; he can’t meddle in everything. Just because you’re looking at your phone, is that a reason to make comments? Work should be done during work hours; the rest of the time is your own. If something like that happens again, you can say in a firm tone, ‘I’m already focused on work, please don’t interfere in my personal space.’
It’s actually a bit dependent on the work environment. We shouldn’t always view bosses negatively. Maybe they’re not communicating clearly, or they might be saying things that unintentionally create misunderstandings. Sometimes it’s hard to strike a balance in the workplace. I’d say before speaking definitively, assess the situation a bit.
Evaluate the situation this way: Are your clear rules regarding work written down? For example, the duration of lunch breaks, rights to take breaks, and so on. If not, there is a gap in your workplace policy, and this creates uncertainty. Much of the indirect behavior, such as snide remarks or insinuations, generally stems from communication problems. Before having a conversation, learn your rights and responsibilities in writing and proceed accordingly.
Thanks for the comments, but the boss is very oppressive, honestly I don’t feel like I can talk. They’ve fired an employee before for ‘arguing.’ They really take things too personally. I feel like I’m going to get very tired if I don’t find a solution.