Today, in the meeting, everyone criticized my report. The statements were quite harsh, I felt like I was buried six feet under. But during the lunch break, while speaking one-on-one, they said quite softly, ‘Actually, we appreciate you in this project, you could do even better in the future.’ Now, I can’t tell if this is a tactic or if they’re being sincere. How do you deal with a manager who leaves you in such contradiction?
6 Answers
6Criticize in public, praise in private. People are becoming increasingly reliant on approval. We need to be careful.
So has he done something like this before? Is it a one-time thing or part of his general style?
@iki_dakika it’s actually not the first time, but they hadn’t made it so obvious before. Generally softer in private, but tough in meetings.
@makarnaoncesi no way, I don’t think it’s manipulative; it might be a classic management tactic. They might want to see if you can handle pressure within the group. Everyone has a different style. Don’t jump to conclusions about everything.
I think the title is a bit exaggerated; calling someone ‘two-faced’ seems to be a hasty judgment. In my opinion, you should take a more calm look at it. 
It’s hard to say professionally, but some managers do this to test how you react under pressure. If you’re uncomfortable, you can directly say in a one-on-one, ‘I didn’t understand why you said that in front of the group.’ You won’t lose anything by asking a direct question instead of becoming defensive.