I’ve been with my girlfriend for a long time, but it’s always the same conversation. The birth control situation has me really stuck. She casually said something like, ‘Why don’t you go check if you’re pregnant’ after saying not to use condoms anymore. Honestly, I felt like exploding, but I stayed calm. I’m just tired of this nonchalance. Is this just my problem, or am I not reacting as I should? What should I have done, and how do you think this should be discussed?
This situation feels so familiar. My ex used to do exactly the same things. I even remember one day when I was buying a test at the pharmacy, the cashier got embarrassed because I was going there so often. But one day I said, ‘enough, this isn’t just my problem’ and spoke openly about it. At first, he got offended, but then he reluctantly started using condoms and all that. I think you should also be clear and direct about feeling uncomfortable, otherwise, it will keep going like this.
So, did you say condom? For example, if you requested this, didn’t it create a cold situation? How did you get them to accept that?
@sorgulayanben I’m already talking, but either they don’t want to listen or they’re brushing it off. Sometimes they act like, ‘as long as nothing happens to me.’ I don’t know if I should be harsher in this situation.
@hayattantecrubeler you’ve spoken frankly, but that’s nice and all, what are you going to do if the guy doesn’t want it? I think these things require the consent of both parties. How can you say it’s mandatory or anything?
Birth control is not solely the responsibility of one partner; it is something that should be discussed as a couple, and a mutual decision should be made. Placing the burden only on the woman or the man is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If one is not using condoms, they should also accept the associated risks. At the same time, if you are using birth control pills, regular doctor check-ups are necessary, as there may be side effects.
Adam seems very relaxed, as if someone else will take care of things. Could he be influenced by his friends? Or what is his general outlook on relationships? It seems to trigger other issues as well.
The phrase “you’re the one managing the birth control pill anyway” is just ridiculous on its own. The guy has zero responsibility. If you don’t address this, it will always stay the same. It feels like we’re in separate worlds with guys like this. What are you really expecting?